Friday, May 29, 2009
What you will notice about him through his posts is that he is quick, he is sharp, and he loves to egg me on...all the qualities I would attribute to a Leprechaun.
For example, the dog did not eat an English Muffin with peanut butter. But Corey said he did to elicit the response he craves. Congratulations on your success, my friend. To this very moment I'm wondering how, with all this food you claim to feed him, he is going to be the world champion long jumper.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
What a wonderful four years it has been getting to know you both. From the moment we met that opening day of the track in 2005 I knew you were special people. I honestly could not have asked for a better set of in-laws...actually, Elvis and Pricilla would have been really cool.
Now I feel it is time to clue you in on some things you do not know about me:
1. I DO freak out. I'm not as calm as you think, Bon. Last night I almost threw a printer through the window and into the pool. Why? It crossed me.
2. I am lazy, and I very much enjoy it. Even though I have a million things going on at once, I am really day dreaming about couch time.
3. I am a horrible perfectionist. My clothes are arranged by color. I will spend hours cleaning with a Q-tip. And if I cannot achieve immediate perfection I give up, exasperated.
4. My patience threshold is low. How many times in one conversation do I really need to tell Corey what I had for lunch? One. How many times do I actually tell him? Seven. This situation does not usually end well.
There. Now we are better acquainted. Sharing feels good. I think I'll do more of it.
I ate grapes today.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Daily, I play the real life version of Operation where I am the tweezers, the metal sensor, AND the loud, obnoxious buzzer. My shrunken English Muffin is the impossible funny bone. And with the same amount of patience I have for the game, I eventually give up on preserving the flesh of my fingers and stick 'em in the dang toaster. After all, my real life reward is much tastier and more easily digestible than those plastic pieces.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
"Darling, I like this China."
"Sweetheart, I don't. I like this one over here."
"Sugar pie, what about this flatware?"
"Honey, it doesn't match the china."
"Stacie, these pans would be great."
"Corey, they are way too expensive."
"Why do you need a Martha Stewart cake plate?"
"When are you going to use a Wok??"
"Hey, why don't you just finish the stupid thing yourself?"
"Shut up about the stupid WAFFLE IRON!!"
In the middle of all of this is when we come across the juicer. I see a little $20 Cuisinart juicer sitting on the corner of a shelf and think how perfect it would be, Corey loves fresh juice.
I call him over, we turn the corner and find 5 juicers. Each one is bigger and better...and more expensive than the last. He skips right over to the granddaddy of them all. It's a beast, five feet tall and 400 pounds of bone crushing ability (but i exaggerate). I'm assuming for $200 it serves the juice in bed. He fumbles through the description, hands shaking with pure child-like excitement as he scans the bar code. We move on.
A few minutes later we come to the vacuums. I have my heart set on the Dyson Animal, but I decide to save that for a special treat to myself later. I see the smaller, battery operated swiffer-type vacuums. Honestly, this would be perfect for the miles of hardwood in the new place, and better yet, it's only $29.99. I call Corey over to scan it. He looks at it, reads the box, and finally says,
"let's do a little research on this first."
Monday, May 25, 2009
And I bought a society lady dress.
We also saw our band. They still rock.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
1. Tux fitting while I try on way-too-expensive society lady dresses (they are in the same shop).
2. Maybe some wedding band shopping...hopefully some wedding band shopping...actually, we'll probably do that later.
3. Make sure our band is still good: Hair of the Dog is performing at the Parting Glass. ...yes, Hair of the Dog IS the name of the band playing at our wedding...no, they do not play heavy metal....or soft rock. irish. it's an IRISH band.
4. Have a wedding nightmare about arriving at the Hall of Springs 5 minutes before the ceremony in my pajamas.
Also known to me as Oliter, buddy, bud, buster bottoms, sugarkins, and psycho.
Also known to Corey as dog.
If he had an online dating profile it would read:
My name is Oliver, I am a 4 year old golden retriever who loves the outdoors. Although I'm a cancer, don't expect me to be independent. I will latch onto you like a tick, which I've had. My hobbies are: swimming, hiking, rolling in the grass, rolling in the snow, eating stuff people drop on the floor, cuddling, and chasing my back foot.
I am looking for friendship, anything more is physically impossible. Pee on a stick in Congress Park if you're interested and I'll track you down.
Friday, May 22, 2009
"Look at her, she has that pre-wedding glow."
"Honey, don't eat that. It's bad for the wedding dress."
"Sit down for a minute. You ARE doing the work for two, after all."
hmmm...I hope Corey's prepared for the post-wedding attention withdrawl. And I hope he's equally prepared for the cure (eviiiil laugh).
(there will be no further comment or reference to the timing or process of Corey Jr.'s arrival because, 1. it's our business, and 2. my DAD reads this blog! ewwwww!)
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Yesterday's mini-breakdown stems from me wanting it all. Selfish, spoiled, brat? Um, no. The live giraffes and fireworks display would solely be for our guests benefit. The elephant, on the other hand, would be for me...I've always wanted to ride one bare back like they do in Africa.
With help from the FH (that's Future Husband in chatspeak) I have come to the realization that I not only can't have it all, but I don't NEED it all.
I don't NEED the ice cubes cut in the shapes of our initials, or the diamonds glued to my nails. I can go on living if Frank Sinatra himself does not make an encore performance for our first song!
Because that is not what it's all about folks! It took one auto-pilot commute, a frantic phone call, and four bags of leftover St. Patrick's Day chocolates for me to realize that it's about Mssr. Corey and Beetle lovin' each other and gettin' hitched.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Standing over there to the left of that piece of napkin on the floor is the chef of doom, Scotty O'Dwyer. He'll serve your beef tips with a side of misery.
Sitting this round out is Jeff, he teaches MATH. We wish him the best as he recovers from his pythagorean theorem accident.
Squatting near the empty nacho tray is Casey...it looks like he could use that napkin.
And finally, running around the ring is the ultra-energetic, ultra-coordinated Super John. No, I am not referring to a fully loaded (pardon the pun) portable latrine, I'm talking about the man who will mow obscene gestures in your front lawn, or send you to Vegas with a swish of his typing finger.
Yes. It IS on.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
In this corner, checking in at barely 5’ is Liz the barracuda. She may have a low center of gravity, but beware of those perfectly manicured nails!
In that corner we have the towering titaness of terror, Jill from Philly. She'll bake your foot if you don't WATCH OUT!
In the other corner hovers Katie the banshee. Her shrieks will paralyze your SOOOOOOUL!
In that corner over there is Kimberlie the...uh.....oh, she's babysitting.
And finally, in the last corner of this pentagonal ring is Lily the not-so-innocent. Harmless little figure skater? You'll be guessing again with a toe pick in your forehead!
Oh, it's on groom's side. On like Steel Magnolias.
Monday, May 18, 2009
This is the guy who came into Queensbury Tire after me
Just kidding. Corey doesn't like those jokes.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Apparently, 4 months is too soon to be starting this stuff anyway. I don't meet with Miss Amy Lucy for another month!
Which reminds me...I should probably take her contact info off the sample of Veet wax strips I keep in my purse and put it somewhere safe...
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
On Saturday I ordered haddock to go from a particularly delicious Italian restaurant. Realizing fish may not be their specialty, I included a side of tartar sauce in my order (one of my favorite condiments, next to pickles and mustard. the filet o'fish gave tartar sauce its special place in my heart). Yet, to my amazement, it was not in the bag.
As I picked at the fish, pulling the slimy black stuff I'm only assuming was skin off the bottom, and eating the potatoes that came with it, Corey noticed I was less than pleased. Always one to make sure I'm happy, he left his freshly cooked pizza and side of cooling meatballs to find the toppings that righfully belonged on my haddock.
Fifteen minutes later he storms through the door, tartar sauce in hand and a story on his lips. While I warmed up my fish and he ate cold pizza he told of his gallant search throughout the city. He told us of the Stewarts that doesn't carry my condiment, and of the Price Chopper miles away where he ran up and down aisles carrying thousands of other products on its shelves, searching for that one perfect bottle of mayo-relish deliciousness.
That man, whom I lovingly refer to as Msssr. Corey, (it's actually mr. corey, but with a french accent...long story) left his fresh, hot pizza, his favorite meal only available to him a handful of times each year to buy me a bottle of tartar sauce.
That's the stuff eharmony commercials are made of, folks.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
It's gotta be a funny sight; two adults (one nearing middle age) taking up almost the entire living room, in sleeping bags. What might have been funnier is Corey waking up bright and early Sunday singing "happy birthday" to himself as he made his coffee.
I won't even comment on his facination with the cats.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
I haven't heard from my seamstress in a month. I'm not worried.
75 more invitations to go. Eh, I'll finish 'em.
Wedding shoes make me taller than the groom. I can squat.
Still no string duo to round out the trio....yeah, no problem....
No honeymoon flight or accommodations booked, um....that's.....ok.
Florist closed up shop....AAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!
Ahem, excuse me. I have to, uh, take care of some things.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
A year ago, I thought it would be a good idea to add a personal touch and make the invitations myself. I had no idea it would include: cheesy wording, printing, stamping, embossing, gluing, gluing, stamping, cutting, printing, assembling, addressing, licking. In that order. Too late to change my mind now, I’m knee deep in embossing powder.