Our Son

"Hey, how's it going?"

"Fine."

"You have rehearsal tonight?"
"Yeah."

"Did you eat your pizza yet?"

"No, not yet."

"Ok.  I'm down at Bensons (pet store).  Gotta get our son some treats."

"Our son??"

"Yeah.  Our son.  Oliver.  He's 57 years old."

"Oh Corey..."

Friday Confessions

Sadly, I have just one confession for today:

Over the weekend Corey and I got into a pretty heated argument.  Over what?  Probably something stupid like, "you know I don't like the word 'doodie'!" or "how dare you cut my sandwich into triangles!"

But what better a way to end an argument than to accidentally leave a fork in the microwave before reheating leftovers?!

I won't name names here, but it was the fault of the one who is lovingly referred to as a "dumpster fire" in the kitchen.

(Those who remember stories of flying cookie dough and various food items can probably determine who it was that almost set the house on fire.)

(And if you don't remember....it was me.)

...

Happy Friday friends!

I've been missing you!

Dear Friends,

I've missed you since I've been out to lunch.  And I don't mean in a turkey-sandwich-on-wheat-hold-the-mayo-in-between-phone-calls-because-the-crazy-doesn't-stop kind of way.

No I mean I've been running on auto-pilot for this entire month and I miss picturing your smiling face while you eat a buffalo chicken wrap just before you open up Corey & Stacie.

A typical day for Corey 'n me starts with a nice walk with the dog, some breakfast, a little work in the office, dinner at home, felting for me, a ball game for him and then Matlock for dessert.  Nice.  Easy.

But recently my day looks like this:

• walk dog
• pack bag of running clothes
• pack bag of wool and jewelry supplies
• pack bag of breakfast, lunch and dinner
• run out of house without brushing teeth
• work
• lunch
• work
• think about blogging
• get interrupted by homeless people
• 5pm!
• time to go home!
• no it's not
• run
• (paper) towel off in office bathroom
• sit in office: watch TV on Internet
• sit in office: felt
• sit in office: eat dinner
• 7pm, now it's time to go home
• nope
• rehearsal for murder mystery
• pretend to smoke Virginia Slims
• murder someone (or do I??)
• 10pm
• home
• Matlock
• pie
• 11pm, pass out with glasses on

Insert various meetings in "sit in office" time and that's pretty much what I can expect four days a week.  The other three days are filled with laundry, sleep and sitting without moving.

After so many weeks of this my brain gets tired.  It forgets things or refuses to function altogether.

Ok, so not entirely altogether.  I am technically still alive.  But my brain has missed a few crucial things.  Like blogging.  And zipping up my snow pants before heading out this morning.

14 degree draft = crucial.

So, in closing I hope you will take the following as a most heartfelt apology for my abscess:

"Corey, I hate the smell of your hair gel"

"What does it smell like??"

"Like sweet spit; it grosses me out."

"You do realize there isn't any spit in it, right?"

...

Your BFF,
Stacie

Friday Confessions

1.  In my spare time I like to browse the hairs on my head for little grays. 

And split ends.

And bugs.

Weird, right?  Ever since fifth grade I've had a very irrational fear of developing lice thanks to the teachers who put the Fear of God into us kids by threatening to take away the field trip of the year if any of us tried to bring our little "friends" along for the ride.

2.  That was before education reform.  I'm sure.

3.  I never did learn how not to use run-on sentences.

4.  But in my defense, I talk in run-on sentences.

That doesn't make it right.

5.  On Tuesday during our Valentine's Day dinner I drank a delicious glass of sparkling wine.  It's what I would call a one way ticket to Fartsville.

6.  I have to mention farts every now and then for my future reading pleasure.  Next year at this time I'll wonder what was on my mind waaaaaay back in 2012.  And when I stumble on this episode of Friday Confessions I will be pleasantly surprised.

7.  A note to Stacie of 2013 and beyond: remember how you wore those black leggings from Marshall's, like, a dozen time before you realized you can totally see through them??

Yeah, that was hilarious.

8.  Also during dinner on Tuesday the older couple next to us was discussing The Bachelor.  Had I not been consumed with shoving shrimp and bread down my throat I would have jumped in.

It was really good bread...

9.  My glasses are always dirty.

10.  I still have my 2011 calendar up.  And for just a moment, every time I glance up to see what the date is I really think it's Tuesday, January 31st.

But that is actually better than my other option: twelve months of hunky shirtless jockeys, which isn't exactly appropriate for, um, my office.

...

Happy Friday!!  I hope your weekend is full of sunshine, ponies and rainbows.

Bring on the chocolate, planet earth.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Enjoy your roses, chocolate, glass of wine, bottle of wine, fancy dinner, romantic movie, smooches, microwavable TV dinner, good book, or whatever your day has in store!

Unless you plan to spend Valentine's Day cutting your ex-boyfriend's head out of all of your pictures or stalking "the one that got away."  In that case, buy yourself some chocolate and let's all hope the day goes by quickly.

Friday Confessions

1.  My office chair made a "farty" noise on Tuesday.  I tried to recreate it so my co-workers would know it didn't come from me.

2.  I spent several minutes in a heated debate last Saturday on whether or not I was caught eating my boogers that one time when I was ten.

3.  For the record: I stopped eating boogies when I was three.

4.  My sister, Kimberlie, doesn't understand Groundhog's Day:

Kim: "So what does he see?"

Me:  "His shadow."

Kim:  "How do we know if he sees it??"

Jay with obvious sarcasm:  "He tells someone."

Kim:  "But what if the sun isn't out?"

Jay, more thick sarcasm:  "They bring out a lamp."

Kim:  "Wouldn't that give a false reading?"

5.  I had to get blood drawn and a tetanus shot at my check up on Monday.  Corey almost had to come to the appointment with me for this reason alone.  I'm what you might call a big wuss.

6.  But for realz, tetanus shots suck.  My left arm hurt for days.

Don't cry for me Argentina.

7.  I may or may not have found out who wins at the end of the Bachelor.  I am both kicking myself for spoiling the ending and relieved to now have two free hours on Mondays because there's no way I'm watching the rest of that train wreck.

8.  I won't ruin it for you.  Even though misery loves company.

9.  But I will rub something in your face right now: wanna know what my husband planned for us for Valentine's Day weekend?

An entire weekend away at the cozy Mirror Lake Inn in Lake Placid.

And I didn't even have to bug him.

This is where I'll come down for 3 o'clock tea and cookies.  Maybe I'll read by the fire for a spell.

Fancy a skate?  Why yes!  Indeed!

Mmmmm, I'll have what she's having.

10.  I apologize for that display of displaying.  I simply could not contain myself.

....

Peace out!

Ten on Tuesday

1. How do you feel about Groundhog’s Day?
I forget about it.  Every.  Single.  Year.   And then when I am reminded I worry about that poor little groundhog who is probably just wondering why he isn't hibernating with his cousins.


2. What color are your fingernails right now? (Bonus points if you include a picture.)
Brown.  And chipped thanks to some last minute pre-Super Bowl cleaning.

3. Do you like riddles?
No.  I hate riddles, hate, hate, hate.  They make me feel dumb because I don't have any patience to solve them.

4. When you were 10, how old did you think “old” was? At your current age, how old do you think “old” is?
When I was 10 my ballet teacher was 16.  In real time it seemed like she was 30 and practically dead.  But now that I see my parents in their 50s and active, my boss is in her 70s and very active, and myself nearly 30 and nowhere near death's door, I'd have to say 80's are old.

5. Do you wish on stars?
No.  I don't wish much.  It seems like time that could be better spent shoving chocolate cake in my mouth.

6. Do you recycle?
Sigh, no.  Although I dream of a day when I can have a multitude of recycling bins; including a runoff water collector and compost heap.  Oh to be green.....

7. On a scale from 1-10, how good of a cook are you?
If you ask me, I'd say I'm a fantastic cook; I love what I make!  If you ask Corey, who literally spit out my last quinoa concoction, he might have a different opinion.

8. Do you color your hair? Professionally or at home?
When I do get highlights I go to a friend of mine.  I don't get to sit in a fancy swirly chair but I do save a ton of money!

9. One a scale from 1-10, how do you rate your manners?
At home; negative 5.  In public 10.  Unless someone in my party burps out loud first, then that seal is broken and it's fair game.

10. Who are the last 5 people you have texted?
Corey, my sister Kimberlie, mom-in-law, and the girl who sells my jewelry.

...

Good times.