Friday Confessions

1.  Sometimes I forget to keep track of things I need to confess.  Like this week.  Sorry in advance for the gobbledygook, or lack thereof, to follow.

2.  The measured weight of my shampoo is 10.5 Fl. oz.  I read this as ten point five floppy ounces.  Because in my book, the abbreviation "FL" is always floppy.

3.  In this weather my car goes from zero to sixty in five minutes.

4.  I threw an apple in my purse, not knowing it would be swimming around in there with about eight perfume samples from the weekend.  It tasted very much like Jimmy Choo's newest fragrance.

5.  Corey threw out a jar of hot fudge that had at least a third still left.  I may or may not have had a minor meltdown.  But in my defense, when you're looking forward to hot fudge, chocolate syrup is just not an adequate substitute.

My dad will agree.

6.  Speaking of my dad, we went out to breakfast this morning.  I had the French toast...just like when he would take me out for breakfast Friday mornings when I was in fifth grade.

Awwww.

7.  I've taken to defending Justin Bieber when slammed by co-workers, friends, people in line at the grocery store...

8.  I'm jealous of people from the south.  They have these cute little sayings that make any bad thing sound cute.  Up here we just say what we're thinkin':

down there: "That girl is just two chickens short of a pot pie...y'all!"

up here: "She's dumb."

down there:  " Well slap me silly at sunrise!"

up here:  "I'm shocked."

down there:  "You'll love it so much you'll wanna slap yer mama!"

up here:  "It's good.  Trust me."

Boooo-ring.

9.  Because TV people are making more shows that are super sappy and aimed at emotional weirdos like me, my family thinks I'm preggo and just full of raging hormones.

10.  I emailed a friend of mine about my busy day and how tired I was.  I tried to write that I crawled in bed at 11pm but I started typing "crap."  I know this is a little too much poo talk for one week, and I swear I'll take it easy for a day or two, but think about how that would have turned out...I crapped in bed?!? 

**crickets**

Sheesh, tough crowd.

...

Ten.  That's all folks.  But I'll be back.  There's a song Corey sings totally wrong I wanna tell you about.