The things that run through my head

I started a few posts yesterday but I didn't like where they were heading.

They weren't all political or whiny, just boring.

I was in a mood yesterday, and probably will be again later today.

See, there aren't too many complaints to be dealt with at the moment.  And as the unofficial complaint department that leaves me time to find other things to do.

Like file.

But I hate to file.  Hate it more than folding laundry and washing dishes.  So I take a few mental breaks where I let my mind wander.

Where does it wander to, you ask?

(and here we bring it full circle...)

The things that put me in my mood!

I applied for a craft fair a few weeks ago.  It's only the major crafting event of the year in this area, and as a newbie to the art of selling my wares (but not those wares) I want to get as much exposure as possible.  I'm finding out not all of these events follow the same application path.  Sometimes it's who you know; sometimes it's first come, first served; and then others are exclusive to who's stuff is "good enough."

This craft fair is the "good enough" kind.  And I'm s'posed to find out this week, by Friday, if I'm good enough.  So during my thinky-time I think:

Why haven't I heard yet?

Is my stuff that bad?

Oh Lordy, I didn't make it.

But if I did, I'll have a million felt balls to make.

Yeah, I totally made it.

So why haven't they let me know??

Because I didn't make it!!

As Corey said this morning, "Stop thinking."

But then there's another issue that wracks my brain when I'm not otherwise full of doubt/pride.

I want a house.  Now.  Yesterday would have been better, but NOW will do just fine.

I'm not normally very patient, but I'm even less so when I have that gut feeling.  You know, the one where you just know whatever it is you're thinkin' is what you should be doin'.  Like when I bought my car.  I was with my parents who were actually the ones doing the shopping.  I was planning on looking in the very near future, but when I saw my little Tucson sitting on that lot I just knew she was the one.

I spent a few weeks looking at other cars but eventually came back to the car I now own and love.  Because I knew.

With this house stuff I knew it was time last fall and I have since had to wait.  Four.  Whole.  Months.  And it's finally starting to kill me.  How many times each day can I check MLS listings and Craigslist postings?  I may find one new listing every other week.

But as I've mentioned, I've already found my dream house.  Enter number three "things that make me anxious": how to convince Corey it is also his dream house when he is already "10% sure we will get that house."

Sometimes he says things in weird ways.  This is how he says he doesn't like it and doesn't want it.  But he's only 90% sure he doesn't want it, so that means I still have a chance.

So you're tellin' me there's a chance?!

(if you can name that movie we were probably separated at birth)

So this is why I could not put anything into words yesterday; too much junk swirling around in my head.  The only reason I'm able to write out the above right now is that I have a large amount of heroin...just kidding.  I just haven't had a chance to fret.  But give me time.