1. I have a shy bladder because I hate it when people can hear me tinkle. So who happens to surprise me as I come out of the bathroom door after I finish my business? The same Congressman from this post who witnessed me digging for gold in my blouse.
2. The same congressman who didn't want to hire me last year.
3. While I was out sick yesterday I had to do some light grocery shopping (sloppy joe mix, hamburger buns, you know, the necessities) and was told upon returning I had gotten the wrong cheese and ground beef. Truth is, I just wasn't listening when Corey was telling me what to get.
4. I can't think through the fog of a cold. So-rry.
5. My toes look like fingers. They're long and skinny and I can pick stuff up with them. If I was more flexible I bet I could put lipstick on with them.
6. A friend of mine (hi Brendan!) asked why bloggers share so much personal information: I feel the world should know about my finger-toes, and my shy bladder and the one little hair that grows on the second digit of my ring fingers.
7. If the world didn't want to know, the world would not continue to read.
8. By "the world" I really mean my mom.
9. I've been popping bananas like they're Skittles the past few days. There's this 5k I want to run tomorrow....
10. You know what they say: A banana a day gives you lots of potassium that enters your blood stream through your pancreas and then attaches to your platelets to take it to your white blood cells where it attaches like a shield so your white blood cells can go all ninja on germs and viruses and stuff.
But I digress.
And I have no idea what I'm talking about.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Sick Day
I jinxed myself. Dangit.
"I catch colds often, but rarely do I get the cough or stuffy nose that usually come with it."
I now have the stuffy nose and all of the achy fun stuff that comes with being sick.
The best part is that Corey is still sick too. So here we are. Together.
"Can you help me with this?"
"But I'm sick!"
"Well I'm sick too!"
...
And when we are sick, we are cranky:
"Can you please stop blinking like that??"
"Only if you stop breathing out of your nose!"
"Well I have to breath through my nose so I don't feel like I am ingesting your rotten trash breath!!"
But I lie. We didn't actually have that conversation. Although, Corey does have pretty nasty sick breath that I can smell even through the gunk hanging out in my sinus cavities, and if he washes one more dish in the sink I just might throw something at him.
Otherwise, we're just two sickies hanging out at home, wondering who is going to make lunch and take the dog out to pee.
Tomorrow will be better.
"I catch colds often, but rarely do I get the cough or stuffy nose that usually come with it."
I now have the stuffy nose and all of the achy fun stuff that comes with being sick.
The best part is that Corey is still sick too. So here we are. Together.
"Can you help me with this?"
"But I'm sick!"
"Well I'm sick too!"
...
And when we are sick, we are cranky:
"Can you please stop blinking like that??"
"Only if you stop breathing out of your nose!"
"Well I have to breath through my nose so I don't feel like I am ingesting your rotten trash breath!!"
But I lie. We didn't actually have that conversation. Although, Corey does have pretty nasty sick breath that I can smell even through the gunk hanging out in my sinus cavities, and if he washes one more dish in the sink I just might throw something at him.
Otherwise, we're just two sickies hanging out at home, wondering who is going to make lunch and take the dog out to pee.
Tomorrow will be better.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
A Little More of Nuthin'
You know you have a busy weekend ahead of you when you have to plan to make your plan.
We had several breakfast dates, a coffee date, a lunch date, projects to attend to, junk to sort, stuff to wash, fold, and put away, and so on.
Not part of the plan, but managed to sneak in anyway: catch a cold.
Not part of the plan, but I wish I had planned: nap times.
I catch colds often, but rarely do I get the cough or stuffy nose that usually come with it. Nope, my cold stays right in my head, swarming all around my think meat causing me to spit out boring blog posts and stare at stuff.
It also makes me use the word "stuff" more than Mr. Kirkpatrick would approve of. Oops, there I go ending a sentence with a preposition again.
Mr. K. was my English teacher in high school. If you are a regular follower of mine you may remember me writing about him dying and me being paranoid to make grammatical errors for fear of natural disasters and plagues of locusts reigning down against me.
...
And if you're not a regular follower, shame on you.
But I digress.
Digressing hurts, so I'm going to go lie down.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
This Was Supposed To Be My Vacation Month...
Let's cut right to the chase: I just don't have time for you.
Wow, Stace. A little harsh.
Let me rephrase that: I just don't have time for you.
Jeez, I guess that's about as sugar-coated as I get, but not because I enjoy taking your sense of self-worth and eating it for breakfast. I, very simply, do not have time to explain the millions of things going on that are keeping my physically, emotionally, mentally, cryogenically, ecumenically, badaboopilly occupied.
For instance, just today I have to contact the newspaper about advertising our take-it-or-we-dump-it garage sale, create and mail invitations for my mom's surprise party that she knows about, create invitations for my boss's fundraiser, recruit about a billion volunteers for an event in three weeks, figure out how to display my silent auction necklace, sort through a few hundred boxes from my childhood, and try to squeeze in work for which I am actually paid.
Don't even get me started on tomorrow.
Oh Lord, chest pains.
Is it normal to not feel my left arm?
...
I'll see you all on the flip side. Which may mean early November, but most likely tomorrow.
Wow, Stace. A little harsh.
Let me rephrase that: I just don't have time for you.
Jeez, I guess that's about as sugar-coated as I get, but not because I enjoy taking your sense of self-worth and eating it for breakfast. I, very simply, do not have time to explain the millions of things going on that are keeping my physically, emotionally, mentally, cryogenically, ecumenically, badaboopilly occupied.
For instance, just today I have to contact the newspaper about advertising our take-it-or-we-dump-it garage sale, create and mail invitations for my mom's surprise party that she knows about, create invitations for my boss's fundraiser, recruit about a billion volunteers for an event in three weeks, figure out how to display my silent auction necklace, sort through a few hundred boxes from my childhood, and try to squeeze in work for which I am actually paid.
Don't even get me started on tomorrow.
Oh Lord, chest pains.
Is it normal to not feel my left arm?
...
I'll see you all on the flip side. Which may mean early November, but most likely tomorrow.
...feels like I'm missin' something.
"Hey, what happened to the other half of that sandwich I was saving for dinner??"
Musta been hungrier than I though...
Friday, September 3, 2010
Friday Confessions
1. Corey and I went to a fancy dinner on Saturday and sat with a mixture of people we did and didn't know. At the end of the night, we got up to leave and say our good-byes. Because there were both people I knew and didn't know I ended up telling several of them "It was nice to seat you."
2. I do not like my bare feet touching any floor. But when it is absolutely necessary I cup my feet so that I'm only standing/walking on the back of my heel and the tip of my big toe. I also scrunch up my face as I do this.
3. Panel vans scare me. I think the driver of each one is eyeing me to see how much skin I have to contribute to his creepy people-dress. Thank goodness I have the body of a prepubescent boy.
4. I have a monster of a pimple, so I coated it with pimple cream before I went to bed. It dried. I forgot about it. Then I woke up and walked my dog around town with a big white blob on my face.
5. And I still walk around with my fly down regularly.
6. I have a pretty serious addiction to wheat bagels with maple walnut cream cheese. It was quite by accident that I discovered this combination, but now that I have I can't function without it two times a week.
7. Oh, and I pronounce bagel as bah-gel. Like Brita on Community. I think it's funny.
8. My dad and I are supposed to recruit 100 volunteers for an event in three weeks. Panic does not describe what I feel. Chest pains is more accurate.
9. I feel obligated to eat food that is going to be wasted. Even if that means eating food from other people's plates.
10. I sat at a rowing machine next to a guy on a bike machine at the YMCA. He was literally sitting in a pool of sweat with more sweat surrounding his bike and even more sweat dripping off of him like he was a leaky faucet. I...I....I have no words.
On that note: Happy Labor Day weekend!
2. I do not like my bare feet touching any floor. But when it is absolutely necessary I cup my feet so that I'm only standing/walking on the back of my heel and the tip of my big toe. I also scrunch up my face as I do this.
3. Panel vans scare me. I think the driver of each one is eyeing me to see how much skin I have to contribute to his creepy people-dress. Thank goodness I have the body of a prepubescent boy.
4. I have a monster of a pimple, so I coated it with pimple cream before I went to bed. It dried. I forgot about it. Then I woke up and walked my dog around town with a big white blob on my face.
5. And I still walk around with my fly down regularly.
6. I have a pretty serious addiction to wheat bagels with maple walnut cream cheese. It was quite by accident that I discovered this combination, but now that I have I can't function without it two times a week.
7. Oh, and I pronounce bagel as bah-gel. Like Brita on Community. I think it's funny.
8. My dad and I are supposed to recruit 100 volunteers for an event in three weeks. Panic does not describe what I feel. Chest pains is more accurate.
9. I feel obligated to eat food that is going to be wasted. Even if that means eating food from other people's plates.
10. I sat at a rowing machine next to a guy on a bike machine at the YMCA. He was literally sitting in a pool of sweat with more sweat surrounding his bike and even more sweat dripping off of him like he was a leaky faucet. I...I....I have no words.
On that note: Happy Labor Day weekend!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Dazed and Always Confused
I am tired today. Too much Matlock, too little sleepy.
So, it is very unlikely you will get a post today that makes sense.
But what you will get is some kind of rambling resembling what I gave Corey last night after he came in the bedroom to go to sleep. I was already asleep and stirred by the door opening, the dog moving, or the neighbors doing the deed, again...I can't remember which one. I may or may not have said something mean about being woken up or I could have just laughed my creepy nighttime laugh before falling back asleep.
The damage, however, was done. My REM cycle was interrupted. I hate it when I don't get enough REM zzzz's because then I'm a zombie.
Do you know how hard it is to drive as a zombie?
Don't tell my mom, but I literally do not remember getting from one point to another.
Um, don't tell local law enforcement either, please.
Duh, Stace. Throw a cup o' coffee in your belly.
Coffee usually does one of three things for me:
That reminds me, only four weeks until the World's Largest Garage Sale!!
Why in all of Persia would coffee remind you of a stinkin' garage sale??
That's the World's Largest Garage Sale, thanksomuch.
Well, I spaced out for a sec and found myself gazing at my calendar, and my calendar is the kind where you have three months showing, one month stacked right on top of the other and you can just tear off a sheet at the end of each month, actually you tear three sheets because there are three months showing, like I said, so here I was looking at this calendar and I realized I tore off a July sheet and an August sheet but not a September, that left me with August, September and September showing, and I so I ripped off the second September to show October and that is when I realized October is almost here, relatively speaking, er, typing, and in October is the best garage sale in the entire world.
Glad you asked?
I feel zombie-time coming again.
Peace out.
So, it is very unlikely you will get a post today that makes sense.
But what you will get is some kind of rambling resembling what I gave Corey last night after he came in the bedroom to go to sleep. I was already asleep and stirred by the door opening, the dog moving, or the neighbors doing the deed, again...I can't remember which one. I may or may not have said something mean about being woken up or I could have just laughed my creepy nighttime laugh before falling back asleep.
The damage, however, was done. My REM cycle was interrupted. I hate it when I don't get enough REM zzzz's because then I'm a zombie.
Do you know how hard it is to drive as a zombie?
Don't tell my mom, but I literally do not remember getting from one point to another.
Um, don't tell local law enforcement either, please.
Duh, Stace. Throw a cup o' coffee in your belly.
Coffee usually does one of three things for me:
- nothing
- gives me a headache
- makes me a super jittery spazoid
That reminds me, only four weeks until the World's Largest Garage Sale!!
Why in all of Persia would coffee remind you of a stinkin' garage sale??
That's the World's Largest Garage Sale, thanksomuch.
Well, I spaced out for a sec and found myself gazing at my calendar, and my calendar is the kind where you have three months showing, one month stacked right on top of the other and you can just tear off a sheet at the end of each month, actually you tear three sheets because there are three months showing, like I said, so here I was looking at this calendar and I realized I tore off a July sheet and an August sheet but not a September, that left me with August, September and September showing, and I so I ripped off the second September to show October and that is when I realized October is almost here, relatively speaking, er, typing, and in October is the best garage sale in the entire world.
Glad you asked?
I feel zombie-time coming again.
Peace out.
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