Friday Confessions

Below, an oldie but goodie.  I wrote this "confessions" almost exactly a year ago today, on the eve of The World's Largest Garage Sale.  And because now this is the eve of The World's Largest Garage Sale I cannot be expected to come up with an original post.  My garage sale strategy must come first.

You understand.

1. Growing up, my family designated "favorite movies" based on the amount, duration, and intensity of fart scenes.

2. I may or may not have taught my innocent, 13-year-old cousin what the phrase "breaking the seal" means.

3. I attended a luncheon on behalf of my boss where I sat at the head table with the Assemblywoman and the Chancellor of the New York State University school system. I had a visible booger in my nose the entire time.

4. I also dribbled sauce down my chin oh-so eloquently.

5. And then I ran out of the building.

6. The World's Largest Garage Sale starts this weekend. I purchased this old lady cart to store my treasures...and snacks.

7. Corey and I had an anniversary a few weekends ago. I spent the day with my family that was visiting from all over the country then the night baking my mom's birthday cake. We both passed out on the couch dinnerless and wedding-cakeless.

8. As this year has felt like no fewer than five, we were ok with it.

9. Marriage is hard, people.

10. After reading yesterday's post, my mom said our life is like a reality show. Let me tell you: we would be the dumbest show on the planet, second only to The Hills. Aside from our occasional misadventures, this is our nightly routine: come home, Corey walks dog, talk about dinner, eat cheese and crackers, forget to eat dinner, eat dessert, Stacie watches Matlock and plays with felt, Corey checks stats online then watches game, Stacie goes to bed, Corey watches game and falls asleep on couch.

Bo-ring.

But I would definitely entertain any and all offers. Just sayin'.