Tuesday, April 24, 2012

My what looks like WHAT?!

Your crotch looks like applesauce.

Um, why thank you.

Of all phrases to use in a Google search 1) why these exact words and 2) why would these exact words bring people to Corey 'n me?

Brownie turds, yes.

Arm fat crease, of course.

But applesauce crotch is not a topic I believe we have covered here on C&S.  In fact, the word "crotch" feels as dirty coming out of my keyboard as "indicator" or "lady smile" would.  And a comparison to applesauce....I just can't make that connection any way I try.

Enlighten me, friends.  I watch Matlock and wear yoga pants that come up to about the middle of my ribcage; I am not hip, is this applesauce crotch what the cool kids are talking about these days?

Eagerly awaiting your reply,
An un-cool kid

Monday, April 23, 2012

Things are happening here

Hello friends.

After very little deliberation because I tend to make impulsive decisions I've decided to take a new direction with the blog-thing:


...and antics.

With videos.

...and antics.

And a splatter of tutorials.

...and antics.

Obviously I can't escape the day-to-day shenanigans at home; a certain someone I am married to is going to dance around in his underwear and socks, and a certain blogger is going to get her hair caught in a blender.  I can't, in good conscience, keep this to myself, so there will be an element of "married life" to my new gig.

But this new "gig" won't be starting up anytime soon.

I work at a comfortable pace.

So until we're all up and running, just hang on to your britches, giggle to yourself because it looked for a second like I said b*%$ches, get a good belly laugh in there when you think of how that phrase would have sounded if I had typed b*%$ches, and well, just wait because, um, there really isn't much else to do.

I'll see you knuckleheads on the flip side.

Which will be tomorrow, because I have a very disturbing question to pose.

Monday, April 2, 2012

A penny saved is a penny for my wardrobe

I ended a relationship last Wednesday.


A four year relationship.

With my smartphone.

It was like giving up an appendage.

Or cable TV.

Or chocolate.

But I exaggerate, really.  It wasn't hard and I rarely notice a difference.  Sure I can't immediately post my thoughts on the economy or the importance of grapefruit to Facebook.  And I can't catch up on celebrity gossip while I wait for my coffee at Coffee Planet.  But I wouldn't consider any of that enriching, anyway.

What is, you ask?

Saving $30 a month...it's en-riching!

See what I did there?

No data plan on my phone bill also frees up several minutes in which I can spend actually communicating with those around me.

Like the girls at Coffee Planet:

"Um, are the bagels good here?"

And Corey:


And even the dog:

"Stop licking that."

The only downside is that I have this ridiculous looking phone.

The Pantech Jest 2; it's the size of the palm of my hand and takes excellent pictures if I do not intend for them to be seen.

I've also butt-dialed myself and many others several times.  It's a sacrifice we all have to make for the sake of my wardrobe...because that's what money saved is for: Frye boots and coral skinny jeans like Kate Middleton's.

That's how I would prefer to be enriched, anyway.  Who needs hand-held access to junk mail when you can have coral skinny jeans?

A question we should all be asking ourselves...