Friday, July 30, 2010

Friday Confessions

1.  I speak the language of the trucker thanks to a country high school boyfriend with a CB radio and a non-traditional student in my senior year speech class in college.  I was able to correspond with a driver Wednesday using a series of high beam flashes.

It's not as exciting as you think.  I let him know it was safe for him to come over into my lane.

2.  Corey and my song is Taylor Swift's Romeo and Juliet.  He downloaded it onto his iPod, I laughed at him, then we both sang at the top of our lungs.

3.  When I feel like I'm getting sick I shove carrots in my mouth.

4.  I need to find some carrots.

5.  But not cooked carrots.  They still gross me out.

6.  My new nighttime routine (when I'm home before 9:30) is to snuggle up to Matlock and a pint of ice cream.

7.  I just realized "high beam" is also used when talking about boobies.  That is not what I was referring to in the situation above.  Just so we're clear.

8.  I made someone mad yesterday.  He now wants my name and address to run a background check and make sure I'm competent enough to do my job.  I suggested he browse my Facebook page.

9.  There is a piece of watermelon stuck to the passenger seat of my car.  It has been there for two weeks and is now blue from my passengers denim covered rear ends.

10.  One of my English teachers from high school died several years ago.  To this day I still cringe when I write "there is" and end sentences with prepositions because I am convinced he is going to pelt me with acorns or natural disasters.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Happy Birthday To Me...Two Weeks Ago

Birthday's are great for getting stuff you really want but could never get prior approval for from the master of finances.

Had I seen the two sweaters my in-laws gave me hanging on the rack I would have said:

"Oh my heavens, I need these.  But alas, they are more than $2, which is my own personal limit for buying random items for myself."

Yes, I do say "alas" to myself.  Sometimes.

And the hiking boots from Corey:

"Look at the absolutely fabulous boots made for hiking!  Why, they are just gloriously brown!  But alas, the price is high.  Perhaps I should look elsewhere, garage sales, consignment stores, dumpsters..."

Oh, and then there's Elsie.  My second born.

This Borden cow creamer from my parents would have been at the top of my "Must Silently Covet Because You Could Never Justify Buying" list.

But look.

There she sits.  In my hand.

Well, now she's perched on an antique looking tray on an actual antique dresser that I put in my dining room because it looks more like a buffet.

In case you were wondering.

Let's just say girlfriend is old and rare.  And breakable and rare.  And has pointed udders and rare.

And I love her.

There were other lovely gifts; my sisters are always so thoughtful.  They seem to know me better than I know me...which reminds me of that commercial:

"Oooo, what am I thinking right now?!"



"No.  I don't want no donuts."

You had to be there.

But I digress.

And before I digress any further, because it is already in the works, thanks to everyone, you're beautiful, let's do this again sometime.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Die-t: Spelled That Way For A Reason

My co-workers are in an on-again/off-again relationship with their diet plan.

Because it's awful.

"Hey Jen, I'm going out to lunch.  Do you want a brownie?"

"No thanks.  I'll just have a Listerine strip."

Poor dear.

Pet Peeves and Arm Fat

I hate whispering.

It is definitely on my Top 10 list of Most Annoying Things In The World, along with power outages during my Thursday night TV time and the If I Had A Million Dollars song.

And sometimes Corey.  But he already knows this.  Because it's his goal.

I hate it because it's so obviously subtle.


I think I just canceled

So what I mean is when you whisper to someone you're letting everyone else know that they are not privy to your business.  I may be a serial over-thinker, but this says, "The person I am whispering to is more important, aka better than you, and can know my secret stuff."

And in my own paranoid world it also means, "I wanted to tell this person, who is better than you, remember, something that I can't say out loud because it is about how you look ridiculous in those leggings."

The fact that I don't know what the offending whisperers are saying leads me to think the worst:

"It's my hair, isn't it?"

"Did I forget to brush my teeth??"

"Is my skirt tucked into my underwear again?!?"

I may have an overactive imagination.  And I think everyone talks about me...

...for some reason.

How is arm fat related to this post, you ask?

It isn't.

I just got the email below from my BFF around the same time as a whispering incident that set off this rant post.

"i noticed this tiny little faint line just below my bicep and above my inner elbow crease. at first i thought it was a scar and that maybe i had scratched myself. but then i did a couple of bicep curls and saw that it was in fact - a fat crease! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

She followed her (very detailed) description with an accurate depiction of said arm fat crease:
I may or may not have peed my pants a little.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Ten on Tuesday

Happy Tuesday everyone!  Where was I yesterday?  On a mountain.

1. How do you take your coffee on an average day? How do you like your coffee if you’re splurging?
I don't.  Coffee makes me look (and feel?) like a crack addict.  Those Starbucks frappucino things you get in the grocery store are even worse.  Don't even try to have a conversation with me when I'm on one, you will not get a word in and you just might find out what I really think of you.

2. What is your genre of books to read?
Historical fiction.  I love history, and the best way to learn it is to throw in some nonsense love story.

3. Where do you want to retire, if you could go anywhere?
I would like to retire to an RV.  I'm not one to settle down in one place.

4. The 17-year-old you is told to write a 10-minute speech. What topic would you have picked?
17-year-old Stacie would write a speech on Abraham Lincoln because she would have been too busy to pick a more obscure topic that would require research.

5. What word describes you best?
I hate these "describe yourself" questions because what if I say I'm something and you're like, "She is soooo not as pretty as Angelina Jolie."

6. What is the next “event” that you are looking forward to? (ex.: vacation, moving, date, job change, etc)
I'm really looking forward to Vacation Bible School being over.  Is that bad?  Being craft leader and Master of Ceremonies is making me just a teensy bit nervous.  And anxious.  And stressed.  But just a teensy bit.

7. Do you like to discuss controversial topics or do you prefer to avoid those types of conversations?
I usually try to avoid controversial topics unless you'd like to discuss the nutritional value of including Big Macs in Happy Meals.  Otherwise, I have no idea what's going on in the world.

"Hey, what do you think of Obama's health care plan?"


8. Would you rather add 4 free hours to each day, or add 1 extra day to the week?
After work I usually have a meeting and I get home at 8:30pm, at the earliest.  I have just enough time to brush my teeth, take my face off, and have one mini-conversation with Corey before it's time for bed at 9:30.  Extra hours would leave me plenty of time to walk the dog, work in my studio, maybe do a chore or two...

An extra day would just be like another Saturday, which is when I have good intentions to get up early, make breakfast, clean the entire apartment and do all the grocery shopping, but usually end up sitting around watching Lifetime movies.

9. If you created a sports team; what would your colors and mascot be?
I did have a team.  A wedding dress shopping team.  We had pink t-shirts that said Wedding Smashers on them.  Our goal: storm through the racks at Filene's Basement Wedding Dress Sale and find me the perfect dress.  Our chant: "We want a dress!"

No mascot.  Poor thing would have been trampled.

10. If you had to be a teacher, what subject would you teach?
I originally went to school to be a junior high art teacher.  But after drawing an eyelash curler for eight weeks and having a teacher from...Canada, I switched my major.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Friday Confessions

1.  My high school boyfriend called me Tracy, the name of his ex-girlfriend.  My friends thought this was hilarious and continued to call me Tracy for the remainder of our high school career.

2.  I ordered a new phone that requires me to have a Gmail account.  I.  Don't.  Like.  It.  But I also don't like change so this was to be expected.

3.  At my boss's golf tournament Monday (where I was required to volunteer) I practically threw cigars at golfers to get rid of them.  I wanted the box they came in.  In other words, I promoted cancer so I could have a place to store craft junk.  I feel so dirty...but organized.

4.  I keep tags on clothes when I wear them just in case I stop liking them and need to take them back.

You're starting to regret knowing me now.

5.  The song Kiss From a Rose by Seal reminds me of my made-up boyfriend, Brian, in 8th grade.  He resembled Brad Renfro:

6.  If you hold down the Ctrl key and try to scroll it either makes the picture on your screen bigger or smaller.  I realized this after yelling at my computer for 25 minutes, not knowing a stack of papers was secretly holding down the key for me.

7.  I am a Pioneer Woman contest winner.  I won one of these suckers in December...

and now I can't imagine my life without it.

If it weren't for #5 you'd be so jealous of me.

8.  I love this commercial more than chocolate.  So if you want to give me dancing hamsters in ghetto gear I would be much obliged.

9.  I ran out of empathy yesterday.  Lord help the people who call today looking for assistance from the Senator's office; they just may get the "friendly" advice they never wanted.

10. Boiled acorns smell like sweet tea.  Don't ask me how I know this.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Warning: Do Not Read the Following If You Have a Vivid Imagination

We all go through many, mini fashion phases in life. 

For a few months in elementary school I thought my blue Bret Harte Bulldogs sweatshirt looked great pulled down over white tights with white slouch boots.  Thankfully, my mother did not agree to let me out of the house sans pants.

Similarly, Corey has gone through several trends.

The most recent:
  • Loafers with everything:  literally, he wears his driving moccasins everywhere, with everything.  This casual style I prefer to the uppity-tasseled-shoes-with-everything look he has since retired.
  • "Beach wear"...with loafers:  a nice button-up shirt with swim trunks worn (with loafers) out and about, like to my birthday "dinner".  This outfit, although his official summer ensemble, has run its course.
  • Birthday suit:  worn only indoors, Corey dons this "suit" for random activities, like washing the dishes, paying bills, and watering the plants.
That last one was possibly TMI (too much information, for those of you too cool for acronyms), but the truth must be told.

Plus, Corey thinks it's hilarious:

"Hey Beetle, what do you want to do for dinner?"

"I was thinking we should go--would you PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!"

And he thinks it's hilarious to share:

"Did Stacie tell you what I do now?"

This was said to my parents.  Followed by details.

I wish I could illustrate the look of shock and horror.

Yep, that's close.

I'm hoping this trend comes to an end soon, after all, we do have, ya know, windows.

Now if I can just illustrate Corey dancing in his special suit...

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Healthy Living

Corey and my methods of maintaining our health are different.

Opposite, actually.

I prefer to eat foods that are natural (aside from my few moments of weakness when I shove entire cakes down my throat) and exercise.

Corey eats frozen pizza and watches people exercise on one of our 27 sports channels.

I make doctor appointments while on my death bed.

Corey has a standing monthly appointment with our family practice doctor.

"How was your appointment this morning?"

"Good.  They took some blood and ran a urine test."

"Oh yeah.?"

"Yeah.  The results will be back next week."

"So what does he think you have?"

"Gas and indigestion."

"Oh wow..."

"Now I'm heading to the medical center for an X-ray."


"Because I have a rumbly stomach."

(wondering how an X-ray is going to show gas...)

" one in my family has this problem..."

"What problem?"

"This thing with my stomach."

"Gas is not hereditary!"

"Haven't you heard of PT??"


For the record, I have no idea what PT is.

We both manage to take our own preventative measures to maintain our health...but his way is much funnier than mine.

Ten on Tuesday

Oh what fun we have on Tuesdays!
For each of the following 10 categories, tell us which brand/product you use and why.
1. Cell Phone
Brand doesn't matter so much, but cell phone service provider does: Verizon.  No amount of convincing will ever...uh...convince me Verizon doesn't have the best coverage.

2. Email
Hotmail.  Because I've had it since I was in high school.  I don't understand the difference between 'em all.  How many ways can you get someone their electronic mail?

3. Toothpaste
This is where I'm picky: Crest Whitening Expressions.  It foams so nicely, and the taste is refreshing.  However, I am supposed to stay away from whitening products as they make my mouth swell up and my gums bleed.  Eh.

4. Car
I drive a Hyundai, but I do rather enjoy BMWs.  Corey drives one, and although I am not allowed to drive it (he claims I almost hit an old man, soooo false) I do enjoy how they handle.  And 0 to 60 in half the time as my putt-putt mobile is a tad exhilarating.

5. Writing Utensil
Pentel R.S.V.P.  Blue ink.  Fine point.  I'm picky here, too.  I don't allow strangers to borrow my pens and black ink grosses me out.  This is weird.

6. Lotion
Whatever is on sale at Target.  I stay away from the fancy schmancy stuff because I'm not convinced it works any better than up&up (Target brand) for dry skin.  I write this as a tube of fancy schmancy sits next to my computer....let me explain: it was on sale and I like the design.

7. Interior Paint
There's a difference??  I've painted two rooms in my life, but if I had to do it again, I would choose the stuff that has the primer already in it.  Best thing since sliced bread.

8. Soda/Drink
Water.  Of the Poland Springs or Saratoga variety.  I gave up soda when I was 13 (so I could focus more on brownie intake) and have consumed the entire contents of Lake Michigan since that time.  Twice.

I may exaggerate.

9. Laundry Detergent
We use Gain, and it smells heavenly.  However, I have no idea if it gets my clothes any cleaner than Tide.

10. Medicine
No, thanks.  I like my medicine like I like my horseradish: far, far away.
Thanks for stopping by.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Just One of Those Days

Ever have one of those days where you fight with your husband in the morning over whether you should use toilet paper or a tissue to clean eye boogers out of the dogs eyes and load up a free antique from the side of the road in the afternoon?

Yeah, me too.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Friday Confessions

1.  While in a fancy lady dress at a ballet gala I got bit by a mosquito.  On my butt.  What is the best way to go about scratching without being inappropriate?

2.  I fall asleep to King of the Hill.

3.  At the gala I met Sex and the City author Candace Bushnell and managed to not walk all over my tongue.  She probably will want to write a book about me.

4.  When did I walk all over my tongue?  When I met the Mayor of the Village of South Glens Falls.  I am sure he still remembers the idiot working reception at the Post Star.  (this was before i worked for a State Senator.)

5.  For this reason, when Rudy Giuliani came to an event honoring my boss I refused to meet him.

6.  I only allow myself to take medicine when I feel like I am going to die.  Ditto for doctor visits.

"It looks like you have swine flu.  You should be wearing this mask and you'll have to use the back door."

Both in one day.  Super fun.

7.  I may or may not have spent my lunch break scrolling through Paris Hilton's twitpics.

8.  I love Matlock. 

9.  I also love Blues Traveler, despite the pledge I took with my best friend in 6th grade that they were the worst band ever...along with Hootie and the Blowfish.  I secretly anti-pledged the pledge.

10.  Today is my birthday.....!
Oliver will not be in any pool, you can take that to the bank!

Happy Birthday to Stacie...she is 28 years old today!

She still acts 15 though, much of the time!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Happy Birthday!!

My Bubble Buster Bunker Boo turns 5 today!!

A celebration is planned for Sunday, at which time he will run around with his cousins, swim in my parents' pool, and eat meat flavored ice cream.  Mmmmm.

Then we will go home and I will cry that my Sugar Dimples is one year closer know.

Jeez, who invited Debbie Downer to the blog?

Happy Birthday Oliver Dog!!'s to 20 more years!


Lady Business

Fellas, you may want to use this Internet time to check the scores of the game or the weather forecast or brush up on your Italian...or just check those scores.

The following is a topic for the ladies.

Why alienate my (three) readers, you ask?

Because there are just some things that need to be said.  Er, typed.

And there are just some things with which only a select group, say those who have ovaries, can empathize.

There we go.  I think that just knocked off the last of the lingering gentlemen.

Gentlemen...hehe.  There was a lady I worked with who would ask me about my "gentleman friend."  Cute old people.

But I digress.

Hey ladies, preferably those who have a scientific knowledge of the human anatomy and hormones and chemical stuff, why is it I thought I was going to die if I didn't eat that package of peanut M&M's, all the while knowing I would die from the pain of eating said M&M's?

I went back and forth for awhile: do I eat them and curl up in the fetal position and moan for an hour swearing to scoop out my insides with a rusty spoon?  or do I skip them and think of nothing but chocolate covered peanuts in a hard candy shell for the rest of the day?

Obviously, I chose the former, regretting my decision instantly.  The only comfort came in knowing I would have been equally miserable in choosing to forsake the treat.

So back to my question, why??  Why does this chocolate have such a hold on us?!

(I say "us" loosely because I know there are a few of you out there who are able to turn your noses up at a Godiva truffle like it's a chocolate covered doodie, however, to you I say "pity, pity.")

It's a love/hate relationship.

Today I hate it.

But I still ate two chocolate chip cookies for breakfast.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

A Case of the Blahs

Some days I'm just hard pressed to find anything to say.

"Hey blog world, guess what happened to me this morning!"


"I had TWO breakfasts!!  HAHAHA!!  First I had cereal and then I had a bagel!"


"Oh, and guess what happened to me yesterday!!"


"No really, guess."


"I went to work and then I went to a Vacation Bible School meeting and then I got rained on!!!!  I bet you weren't even close!"

Thrilling, I know.

Sometimes things go right and sometimes Corey doesn't say hilarious things.  I guess that's life.  It can't all be stories of boogers and farts.

Write that down.  I was being profound just now.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Ten on Tuesday

Since I've participated in this crazy Ten on Tuesday weekly post, I've not missed a single one.  Until last week.  When my brain was fried over-easy.  So sorry.

1. What is the worst movie you have ever seen?
What comes to mind is Leap Year.  I am a self professed hopeless romantic, but honestly, a guy and girl who hate each other fall in love and want to get married after a long weekend of driving through Ireland?  A cartoon princess falling through a well leading to a manhole in New York City is more believable.

Note to Amy Adams: you do not smile and laugh when it starts to rain on your horrible misadventure.  You scream and throw a fit.

2. Do you have a favorite Disney/Pixar film?
Let me use this question to confess (because it is a Disney movie) I loved Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen... 

...along with Mean Girls, Freaky Friday, Parent Trap and most of oh-so-troubled Lindsey Lohan's movies.

I'm glad I got that off my chest.

3. Do you have a favorite movie from the 80′s?
I've always loved Pretty Woman.  There's just something about wealthy business men falling in love with prostitutes that tugs at my heart strings.

4. Are there any movies you saw more than once in the theater?
My friend Melissa and I saw the first Austin Powers movie twice in the theater.  The second time, though, we told our parents we were going to see A Bug's Life.

"How was the movie?"


"What was it about?"


5. What is one city/area of the US that you have not seen but would like to see?
Just last week I looked at a map of the country to see how many states I've visited.

This is where I've been.

And this general area is where I'd like to go.

6. What are your favorite toppings on an Ice Cream Sundae?
There can be only one: hot fudge.

And maybe some nuts.

7. How many proms did you go to? What color was your prom dress? If you went to multiple proms, what color was your favorite prom dress?
Three proms for me, all with the same dood; two at my school, one at his.  I loved both of my dresses (two proms in one night, same dress, thus only two dresses necessary for all three proms.  i knew you were wondering.)  The second dress was my favorite, but the cut of it made getting into my date's truck without assistance or without pulling it up over my head impossible.

8. Is there a sport or extra-curricular activity that you didn’t get to try as a child that you wish you would have? (e.g. gymnastics, piano lessons, ballet, etc.)
Um.  No.  I tried just about everything: ballet, piano lessons, swim lessons, Spanish class, soccer, t-ball.  There wasn't much time to do anything else!

9. How many siblings do you have? Are you the oldest, middle, or youngest?
I have two of the best sisters.  Katie is the middle, she is 23.  And Kimberlie is the youngest, she is 22.  They are my best friends.  However, I don't think they are as fond of me as it is very well known throughout our family that I am, always have been, always will be, the absolute favorite daughter.

But don't ask my parents.  They'll lie and say they love us all the same to protect their feelings.

10. Do you feel like you fit in with your age group? Or do you feel younger/older than your age group?
I do not fit with my fellow twenty-somethings.  It seems as though everyone is into the party, drink orange soda until you puke, superficial scene.  I roll with the God crowd now and it's workin' out pret-ty good.

Monday, July 12, 2010

The Griswolds Take DC

My dad calls us The Griswolds to strangers. 

It's funny when they miss the reference as did one Renaissance street performer:

"Ahhhh, the Fahmily Griswold!"

So these are my dawgs.  My mom, dad, sister Katie and Corey.  As in Corey & Stacie.  As in my significant other.

Doesn't he look so JCrew with his loafers?  He's in the middle of asking me what I'm doing.  

I'm walking backwards haphazardly.

This was the beginning of a very long, hot day.  We were on our way to Ford's Theater to find out we have to come back at 2pm.

Notice how happy and dry everyone looks?  These are not the same people I saw six hours later.

We made our way to what I declared as my favorite museum, the Museum of Natural History.  Close second: a tie between the art museum with its Norman Rockwell exhibit and the Holocaust museum, which was scary good.

I forgot how much I like dinosaur bones.

This is the third time I posed with Mr. T. Rex.

True story: when I was in preschool we learned about dinosaur bones.  Our teachers buried a bunch of small (real?) bones in the sand box and took us all out to "excavate."  My friends found bones and I found none.  I spent the next few years digging through every sand box I came across looking for bones (and China starting in kindergarten).

I would have spent more time looking at this interesting specimen, but there's just something about a parade...

...and sailors.

The magic may or may not happen here.  But that's a topic banned from this blog. 

I mean politics.  Just so we're clear.  Sickos.

Corey's great-aunt worked here at the FBI building, bustin' chops and wranglin' suspects.

That could be inaccurate.

We finally made our way, sweaty and tired, to Ford's Theater where I took my time perusing the goods in the museum while Corey and Katie whined about being tired/hot/hungry/etc.  Some people just don't appreciate old junk.

I love old junk. 

Like this exact spot where Lincoln was sitting when he was shot.  Goosebumps, people.  I've got goosebumps.

And the house where he died.

Of course I have actual pictures of Lincoln's deathbed and other related memorabilia.  I just didn't want to go "picture overload."


What?  You want to see all 300 pictures from our zany family adventure?

No problemo, folks!  Stay tuned...

Friday, July 9, 2010

Friday Confessions

1.  I prefer my hair short, as it is now, however, when I run it bounces up and down against my neck mullet style ala A.C. Slater.  I hate that.

2.  I am fascinated with cars.  Have been for awhile.  When I was 10 I asked my grandma if she would leave her Jag to me in her will.

3.  I also asked for my aunt's VW bug.

4.  I ate an ice cream sandwich for breakfast Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday because I was on vacation from eating healthy.

5.  I also ate six mini Cinnabuns, my weight in pizza, and DQ chicken strips with gravy and a Blizzard to wash it down.

This conversation actually happened:

"Do you want a Blizzard?"

"Heavens no!"


"I'll take a small choco chunk."

6.  Katie and I went to the resort's water park on Monday.  We were the only two over the age of 20 running around without children.

7.  I feel no shame playing in a water park tree house sans children, nor do I feel even a tad childish taunting a tubby young boy with the possibility of a severe soaking while manning a particular water feature.  That's how I roll.

8.  I say things like "that's how I roll" and I call people "my dawgs" because I was born in the LBC and if my boy Snoop Dog can do it, so can I.  Foo. 

Wait, isn't that Mr. T?

9.  I can now add water slides to the growing list of things that make me motion sick:

  • car

  • boat

  • plane

  • wobbly chair

  • picturing car ride

  • rice pudding

  • water slide
10. I am deathly afraid of the dark.  I once sat in a pitch black room after a power outage completely motionless except for my thumb pressing random buttons on my cell phone to keep it lit for 45 minutes until my parents came home.

10.5.  I am really glad Blogger gave back the video option and spell check.  I may or may not have squealed.

I may or may not have squealed when it told me I spelled squealed wrong.

Squealed looks really funny now...


Thursday, July 8, 2010

Road Trip Adventures

When I was 11 my parents packed up me, my sisters, our dog, and the entire house and moved us all from Long Beach, California to Elkhart, Indiana.

Something to do with the crime....

So off we go, through Arizona , New Mexico and Texas, then Louisiana and Mississippi.

"But wait, didn't you say you moved to Indiana?"

Good question.

Hello USA.  Lovely to be living within your borders.  Now, if you can just show my friends here a couple points of interest.

Wonderful, thank you.  My USA, is that a new perfume your are wearing?!


The map above shows our beginning and ending locations.  Notice the general northwardly direction of Elkhart, Indiana.

This is the route most likely taken by the two people who make the journey from Southern California to Northern Indiana every 10 years.  It is the most logical route.

Now, our route:

Needless to say, this trip took us weeks and straight through the Valley of Hell.*  Where the grasshoppers are so big they invite themselves for coffee and pleasant conversation.

After that move, I knew I could handle any road trip thrown my way.

Then Corey got in the car.

And off we went careening down the highway at 90mph, weaving through traffic also traveling 90mph, singing "All the single ladies, all the single ladies...if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it..." at the top of our (read: Corey's) lungs, for the six hour drive to Washington, DC.

All the while listening for directions from the Garmin:

"Continue straight on I-287now take exit 52."

We're lucky more weren't injured as we cut across three lanes of traffic.

"Turn left onto Gunther Road."

I don't think that's the name of the road...

"Is this right??"

"She said to turn here."

"But this is a ONE lane road!"

"Oh look!  Cows!

Side note, cows do not like it when you approach their babies with your camera no matter how friendly your mooing may appear.

"Arriving at destination.  1822 Resort Drive."

It was...memorable.  And as my parents talked about doing this same DC/Virginia vacation again I made a mental note to check flight schedules when I got home.

*To visit my granddaddy in Hattiesburg, MS.  Besides that, what else is there to see??  I mean other than Brett Favre's house, of course.

Virginia Kicked My Butt

As in the State of Virginia.

It was too dang hot to move, but I moved anyway.  All over the golf course.  And I'm paying for it dearly today.

We golfed at 8:30am Tuesday and walked off the course at 1:00pm.  At 1:00pm the temperature was close to 95 degrees with the same humidity as a glass of water.

I didn't realize I had semi-cooked myself until later that afternoon.  Luckily I was still able to make it to my basket weaving class.

More on basket weaving later.  It was sooooo Dirty Dancing.  I half expected to meet a rebellious dance instructor that I would later on have a tawdry love affair with that my father would not approve of.  I doubt Corey would have been thrilled either.

I'm not sunburned.  Not even close actually.  I might have gotten enough of a tan to earn the distinction of second palest person this side of the Mason-Dixon.

I just got too hot.

When Corey and I left the condo for home yesterday morning I was still a slow moving nauseous grouch.

When Corey and I arrived home eight hours later I was a slow moving nauseous grouch with a headache.

And this morning as I pulled myself out of bed I was a slow moving hungry nauseous grouch.

I am assuming this will go away.

I am hoping this will go away....

See ya when I'm back to 98.6.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Vacation Day

We are in the middle of nowhere.

And it's AWESOME!!

We left Washington DC yesterday at 4:30pm after exploring Ford's Theater and the Peterson House where Lincoln died.

But not before I had an ice cream sandwich and a frozen burrito.

My vacations revolve around meals.  My daily activities revolve around meals.

I love to eat.  And eat.  And eat.

We drove on a major highway.  Then a two lane road.  Then a one lane road.  Then a dirt road.

Then we arrived in McGayheyseville, Virginia at the Massanutten Resort.  Upon arriving we've seen two families of deer, one bachelor deer, about a million woodchucks and mountains all around.

Our condo is built into a mountain.  As I sit on the deck, eating my ice cream sandwich, I am staring at a wall of rocks and grass and shrubbery.  What beautiful shrubbery it is, too.

Today, though, I will leave my mountainous sanctuary for the main resort area and spend my hours at the waterpark.  Luckily, my parents' condo has had a number of problems (bugs in bed, dirty sheets, no AC, stove didn't work) and were offered two free passes.  Katie and I are gladly taking those passes off their hands.  Old folks don't do waterparks, us almost old folks do.

So off we go.  I will be back.  Red as a sunburned white lady.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy Birthday America!

Happy 4th of July from our nation's capital!

(for those of you casing blogs to find out who is on vacation so you can rob poor suckers blind, just so you know, my neighbors consist of a feisty senior and a mom with questionable friends.)

This is, by far, the coolest place to be today.  And I am in Heaven.

Dear God,

Can Heaven be like Washington DC with its endless museums?


I was out early this morning with the crazy idea to jog by the White House.  Not so crazy, though, as there were at least 15 other joggers doing the same with their maps of the area.

I saw three things in abundance that surprised me:
  1. Squirrels
  2. Homeless people
  3. Police!
Dear God,

Can Heaven be like Washington DC but without the crazy homeless people?  Yes, they were happy crazies, but still crazy.  Also, if there are going to be a million squirrels running all over the place (which is what I would prefer because those suckers are so cute), can Heaven have no cars?  I don't think we need to be walking over their flattened corpses.


The police were all over the place, I'm assuming, because of the 4th festivities planned for later today.  There will be a parade around noon and fireworks tonight.  However, the paranoid freak in me tried oh-so-hard to convince myself they were taking preventative measures for some kind of attack*.  I hate the paranoid freak in me.

There were also several groups changing the flags for the day.  Do they fly a new flag every day?  I couldn't figure it out, but it was cool (almost used my mom's word of the decade "neat") to see how carefully they folded the old one.  There was a respect you don't see to much anymore.  That was the cynic in me.

I have a lot of people inside who speak for me.

Kinda weird.

Moving on...

Today's plans include a whole heckuva lot of museums.

Corey is super psyched.

First, Ford's Theater then the house across the street where Lincoln died.  I've seen it before, but it's still weird and awesome at the same time to be in the exact spot where a major incident in history occurred.

I'm getting a little nerdy.  I'll try to tone it down.

Then we'll head back to the Museum of Natural History.  Yes, back.  We were there yesterday but didn't see everything.  When I do museums, I DO museums.

Hopefully then we will head back to the art museum (which is right across the street from our hotel) so I can pick out every single detail from every single painting/portrait/sculpture.  I may be doing this by myself.

I'm more than ok with that.

Peace out.

*I probably now have an FBI file.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Friday Confessions

1.  I think I'm allergic to silly bands.  Dangit.

2.  I googled myself and found another Stacie Lucas.  Well, she was a Stacey Lucas.  Close enough.  I emailed her and tried not to sound weird.  But the fact that I emailed someone just because we have the same name is weird in itself.  Mission unaccomplished.

3.  Yes, I am sick of duckface.

4.  When I was in first grade I had a potty mouth.  But in my defense, I had no idea what "mother effer" meant.

5.  My sister, Kimberlie, was too afraid she would slip up saying the title of the movie, "Meet the Fockers," so she instead calls it "Meet the Effers."  Not my confession, but funny nonetheless.

6.  Don't pee on me and tell me it's raining. 

I love that saying, and have used it in a few conversations, however all seriousness is lost and I'm stuck with a killer argument with nowhere to go.

7.  "If a squirrel poops in the woods and no one is around..."  Wait, that's not how it goes.  But seriously, I have never seen squirrel poop.

8.  I don't understand modern art, but I love to stand next to it while someone takes a picture of me with my "what the...?" face.

9.  I just found out what Skype is last week.  But I still have no idea how it actually works.

10. I found some old pictures of me.  Oh you are going to laugh at my buck-toothedness.  But you'll have to wait.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Always a Bridesmaid...

My friend Liz got married on Saturday in Albany.  My sister, Kimberlie, and I were bridesmaids.

That's my dad in the middle.  He didn't marry them, he just preached a little message.

It's practice for when he becomes a pastor.

Did I mention he's going to pastor school soon?

But I digress.

We had a good time until a certain bride who shall remain nameless put her Miss Snippy pants on.

But then we continued to have a good time because the above mentioned bride is the nicest person I know and just happens to get stressed out when a certain groom who shall also remain nameless plays jokes and takes his time getting ready on one of the more important days of their lives.

Isn't my daddy handsome?

Moving on.

There we are.  Kimberlie was the Maid of Honor, Julia (groom's daughter) was a junior bridesmaid, Hilary came all the way from Alaska, and then there's me and my long neck.

Yes.  That is what this post is going to be about.

Freakish, right?

Maybe I should stop wearing my neck rings at night, eh?

This has gotten out of hand.  Back to the wedding.

No, Liz's wedding.

There we go.

Ah, yes.  The dancing.

Oh boy was the dancing fun.  So much rhythm in the room, so little rhythm in my feet.  But after four toasts I was just like Beyonce out there.

However, after four toasts Corey was still Corey.

"I can't go out there...I'll look like an IDIOT!"

He was a good sport, though.  He tucked his bottom lip under his top teeth and rocked the best of the 80's dance moves.  All while making sure those within earshot knew:

"I'm an Irish-American!"

I'm not sure what that means.  Potato farmers can't get jiggy wit it?

Do people still say that?

This guy put us all to shame.  When a dood's Vans match his outfit you know he's got something up his sleeve. 

"Some people are just born with it.  Look at that kid.  He's doing actual MOVES!"

Later on he made friends with another little boy sporting a sweaty white undershirt and Alfalfa cowlick.  A dance-off ensued.  It was a-dor-a-ble.  And I would be lying if I said I wasn't a tad jealous of their skeelz.

The party ended when we were all kicked out.

My ears rang for two days.

And my voice was cracking even yesterday.

Good times.