a lovely image to remember him by
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
"Might be heading to the doctor...my left knee is popping when I walk...really weird. I'm keeping an eye on it."
"You'll be fine" (this is me, the voice of reason)
"Oh no...it's more than that...it actually popped while I was walking."
"Just walk it out. You really will be fine." (me again, sympathy level 2)
"Might be ligament damage...or ACL."
"Um. No." (this was after a brief chuckle)
Aw, my sweet old man.
I think after work I'll pick up a cane. He can keep it with his heating pad, special pillows, MRI results, and prescription arsenal.
But seriously folks, he did take me and my sister out for lunch on Saturday (where our waitress was an old girlfriend who apparently still has his gray Yankees sweatshirt).
He ended up with a stomach ache.
Friday, June 26, 2009
After this thing in September, does that mean I have to give up my hunky nightly news anchors?
Am I supposed to stop watching Good Morning America and its Sam Champion with his perfect blond side wave and witty remarks, and Chris Cuomo with his smooth voice and poignant, yet factual, reporting??
Surely, 20/20's John Stossel and Dateline's Keith Morrison are safe to drool over. You just can't ask me to forgo their thought-provoking investigative journalism and dreamy stares for reruns of Seinfeld and Everybody Loves Raymond!
And I might as well crawl into a deep dark hole with nothing to eat but the creepy, crawly creatures of the night if I can't have my weekly dose of Brian Williams and his awkward side smile.
Look, I'm not asking Corey to give up Without a Trace actress, Poppy Montgomery and her stringy blond hair (awww, did your show just get canceled??). Or Jeanine Whatever, the horse racing girl, and her fake...teeth.
So let me keep my charmingly pale anchormen and we'll call it even.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
No more burritos before bed. No burritos or wedding related activities. These suckers are just getting way too weird and disturbing.
So, this time I'm getting married in a store/banquet hall/theater in the mall. (Corey doesn't make an entrance in this one) For some reason I'm just hangin' out on a bench watching people walk in. There are thousands of guests. At one point the best man runs off to get his wife out of the JCPenny. And all of my bridesmaids are under the age of 12.
The traumatic part comes when I go to put my dress on. First, it's a hideous satin, two-piece gown. Second, this is the first time I've tried it on since getting it back from the seamstress.
I put the whole thing on to find my seamstress added a neck pillow to the collar of my dress. (why do i have a collar, you ask? i will answer that question with a question: why am i getting married in a mall??) I'm talking about those foamy pillows you wear when you're trying to sleep on a plane, it was sewn into my dress.
Of course, I'm panicking at this point. I'm sobbing hysterically. Fortunately for dream Stacie, Aunt Cindy is there. (background on AC: she makes quilted vests with cross-stitched bunnies look gooooood) She tells me she'll just fold down the pillow. Then we notice my skirt is four sizes too big. Both in my dream and now I wonder, what exactly did I pay the seamstress to do?? This time my Aunt has no solution and my dream fades as I'm minutes from the ceremony, crying and shaking uncontrollably.
....a neck pillow??
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Oh what a joy it will be waking up in the middle of the night to my ramblings of crackers, make believe animals, and other such nonsense while I drool all over myself.
How excited you must be to partake in soggy rice, over cooked eggs, and interesting new recipes using rarely paired ingredient combinations.
And I, equally, cannot wait to wake up to Sports Center, eat breakfast to the Weather Channel, relax to horse racing, eat dinner to ESPN and fall asleep to the game of the day.
I look forward to your nightly rants about the office, the losing team, the guy who cut you off in traffic, and the Starbucks employee who gave you a carmel-mochachino-latte instead of a carmel-macchiato-double foam.
You'll be glad to know I am only bringing 20 pairs of shoes, 30 purses, two closets full of clothes, and approximately 950 pounds of books.
I have also reduced my knick-knacks to only the most essential: paper mache flamingo, ceramic fish on a pedestal, jar of California shells, and 25 stuffed animals.
So I will see you at the altar in 87 days, and maybe we can get a coffee before then.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Last night I had the most magical wedding in my sleep. Although, it wasn't at the Hall of Springs, I had a hideous veil/headpiece, and Corey was small and frail and had greasy black hair...but it was magical nonetheless.
It was a relief after having a very disturbing I'm-totally-unprepared dream where Tom Petty was chasing me. Luckily, I don't remember the details.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Weekend phone conversation:
"I'm throwing the ball for Oliver off the dock! He just jumps right off the end!!" him
"Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm auditioning our string quartet. Sounds like you're having a great time." me
"Yeah, we just had some hot dogs!" him
"What was that? Katie's 90lb Rottweiler/monster mix just grabbed the whole roasted chicken off the counter." me
"Oh. It's so peaceful and relaxing here...the boats passing by, the waves on the shore." him
"Hang on, I'm going to have to put you on speaker phone, I have to use both hands to do this cutting and pasting for the the seven presents I am working on." me
"That's ok, I'm going to bed now anyway." him
"Wow, 9:30. Ok, I'm just going to let the dog out, review tomorrow's Sunday school lesson, clean up my clay mess, and start a movie to keep me company while I work on my next project." me
Glad you had a wonderful, fun-filled time, dear.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Ooops. And today is the anniversary of when I think we met. Every year on this exact date I call Corey to scold him for not remembering the anniversary of when we met, then I do the math and realize that our first date was actually June 17th, not the 19th.
So my apologies to Corey...kinda. You still forgot, ya know. At least I know how many years we've been together. Four.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Well, I'll tell you:
- I would show up on time: When invited to dinners, outings, special events, etc. Corey likes to look his best. That includes following a detailed regimen of changing clothes 4 times, leaving me in the car while he runs in and changes a 5th time, gelling his hair, re-gelling his hair, moving gelled pieces of hair around after they have dried, then posing in front of the mirror. This process begins 15-20 minutes before we have to be at our pre-arranged meeting place.
- I would live in a messy apartment: I am a slob by no means, however, I am too busy to clean up after myself. Corey is the sucker fish to my algae-filled tank. My last fork full of food is barely out of my mouth before he grabs my plate to put it in the dishwasher.
- I would be so bored: aside from traveling through all of New England on weekends, Corey has been one of the biggest supporters of my craft projects. From my horse butt earings to my paintings to my crazy ideas for children's books, he keeps me going!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Corey has only suggested having them sent out to be printed twice.
The printer is not provoking me. We've spent some much needed time apart.
Despite my checklist's rude personal hygiene assumption last week, I have revisited my morning workout routine.
I make my bed now. And fold my clothes. I have time to do these things.
I've spent more time in the kitchen practicing putting ingredients together to produce something edible, thanks to my future mother-in-law's gentle urging.
How boring this must be for you to read about how things are finally going right.
Just hang on. Tonight I might throw my hands up in desperation and drag Corey to Vegas for a simple ceremony in one of 25 Elvis chapels. Or I could just go crazy. Either way, it will give me something to talk about in the morning.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
this is what my sisters looked like (we didn't make the tired pregnant lady dress up),
And out we went.
And cheer I did. Although, I can't emphasise enough how hard it is to spell a-g-g-r-e-s-s-i-v-e when you have 15 people watching and waiting for that one perfect cheer.
Monday, June 15, 2009
This face obviously screams "I am more than ok wearing this in public." So, why people kept asking if I was forced to be a wacky cheerleader, I have no idea.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
"...eat right, exercise..."
"...so you look and feel great on your wedding day."
Alright checklist, now you've gone too far. I didn't say anything when you told me to get organized, like I couldn't figure that out for myself, and I held my tongue when you told me to get my bridesmaids measurements (don't you know ladies do not like to share this information?).
But to tell me that I am starting to look like one of those droopy old love seats you see sitting on the sidewalk outside a college apartment and that I'd better get in shape or I risk running off my fiance is just a little harsh, to say the least.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Why I thought a simple card with words on it wouldn't be enough, is beyond me. Why I needed to have little pockets to hold the RSVP and other junk, I will never know. I do know that if I hear one more time that I should have hired a company to do them for me I just might blow a gasket.
Here is list of things I don't need to hear for the next 98 days:
1. The invitation thing.
2. It looks like rain.
3. I hope you can fit into your dress after eating that sheet cake.
4. You're lucky Corey is so involved in the planning.
5. Is that a stain on your dress?
6. You should've eloped.
7. Could you do me a favor?
8. Why is your eye twitching?
9. Scotch really isn't a breakfast food.
That about covers it.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
The paper chain I usually use to count down to Christmas is now only wrapped around my room once! (you'd be surprised how far 490 days worth of construction paper rings will go...halfway around the world, twice.)
To celebrate, I'm going to make a special meal:
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Similarly, he knows that when I say, "I'm having a bad day," what I really mean is, "find some way to get a huge, chewy brownie in my brownie hole within 45 minutes of right now or else I will turn into a tornado of hair and fingernails you don't want to cross."
That's a special connection.
*I'm pretty sure I did not have a sixth finger on the back of my hand that my parents secretly had removed when I was a baby. I just say that I did because it's much cooler than saying, "See this line on my hand? It's a line."
Monday, June 8, 2009
What did Stacie collect as a child?
If you said empty toilet paper rolls, you are correct.
And for two points, why did she collect them?
To build a log cabin, of course.
On Stacie's 4th grade student council field trip, what did she call the Mayor of Long Beach, California to his face?
Mayor of Munchkin Land? Judges please.....that is correct!
Yes, I am stalling on the bachelorette party post. I don't have all the pictures in yet, but I'm also hesitant to post any more like this:
Sunday, June 7, 2009
The paint-yer-own-frames turned out great. See? Everyone is working so hard. No pictures of me working on my frame. I scrunch up my face in a way you would not know what exactly I'm concentrating on...no, I will NOT elaborate.
...and then the crazies came out. That's not me second from the left. That girl is a....neighbor we see every now and then walking out to the mailbox in pajama pants and a band t-shirt.
Ok, but seriously,
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Corey recently moved into what will be our marital lodgings. It is a spacious loft on the east side of Saratoga, however, vertical wall space is limited (random fact? no. please save all questions until the end). Wednesday night, as I'm driving down to see him, he makes a point to remind me that we agreed to not put anything on the walls until we both can decide what should go where.
"Of course, I wouldn't do anything while you are away," I say.
"Ok thanks," he responds.
I walk into the building 20 minutes later and I hear tap, tap, tap. I walk up the stairs to more tap, tap, taps. I walk in the door and he stands there grinning and says,
"How do you like this Barbaro picture right here?!"
you there, you have a question?.....no, it did NOT end well.
Corey still did all the things I figured he would. (funny...or scary how well i know him)
Stacie, on the other hand:
1. her phone stopped working at 6:30 am
2. from 8:30 to 1:15 she was on the phone (office phone) with Verizon tech support
3. took a break from 11:00-11:20 to nap on bosses couch to relieve massive headache
4. woke up with lines on forehead
5. went to meeting with Congressman with lines on forehead.
6. spent 1 hour in Verizon getting replacement phone.
7. back at office reloading phone settings
8. went to the hospital for some cafeteria food with dad, only food consumed to this point (4pm) was a banana
9. home at 5pm
10. skewerd fruit kabobs, vege kabobs, and fingers (not part of the menu), baked cookies, weed whacked
11. picked up friends (that part wasn't horrible)
I would have enjoyed filing.
Friday, June 5, 2009
He was probably sleeping a good sleep in his three bedroom suite in Mandalay Bay after a night of buffet, gambling, and more buffet while I was swimming laps at the YMCA. He'll wake up in a few hours, spend some time at a pancake bar and I'll be on the phone with a cranky fool complaining about his light bill.
After that, maybe some golf, a few cocktails by the pool, more gambling, a burger buffet. Meanwhile, I will be filing.
Oh, but I'll have my fun (evil grin). I have already claimed the weekend as mine to dictate, just as I do for the entire month of July. Bonnie, add this to the list of things you did not know about me: I'm a Bridezilla! (ahhh hahahaha!!! lightningboltthundercrash)
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Ceremony was in the front area of my office, reception was in the 12 person maximum capacity "conference" room. People were arriving and I just was not ready. My hair was done, and my dress was on, but I still had centerpieces to assemble. And these people, they just SAT there, arms crossed, glaring at me as I frantically cut out and pasted together construction paper flowers. It was truly a stomach-in-throat moment.
On to Wedding Nightmare #2:
This time the ceremony was in my backyard. It was a gorgeous set up. We had pergolas with climbing ivy, a red velvet aisle runner and candles everywhere...for an afternoon wedding??
Anyway, guests were seated, I was dressed, everything seemed to be in order. That's when I realized...(extreme close up with scary violin screech) I forgot my veil!
I run up to the attic, which resembled the old, creaky attic in the 1995 movie Casper. (yes, Casper. gimme a break, i was in l-o-v-e with Devon Sawa.) I jump over an old dusty box and dig through bins of dusty clothes until I find the jewelry box holding my pearls (apparently, i'm no longer concerned about the veil at this point). As I'm fumbling with them the clasp FALLS OFF.
If there was theme music playing it would be a cross between the theme from Jaws and Mission Impossible. For some reason, the fate of this wedding depended on these pearls. But I digress.
I'm panicking. I take a gold twisty tie (like the kind you use to tie up your green beans or bread bag) and attach the clasp to the strand of pearls. That's when I wake up. There was no resolution!
Did I make it to the aisle on time?! Did my twisty tie contraption work?!? I have no idea!!
Now I am left to spend the day making lists...You know, to make sure I haven't forgotten everything?...Come on folks, you can't expect me to present the stories AND make the connections, too.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Sure we spent a good chunk of our summers at band camp, and yes, we gave up Saturdays and Wednesday nights for rehearsals and performances. But, I would say four consecutive state finals trips, marching in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and marching in a Honolulu parade made it well worth the extra effort.
This revelation comes as I anticipate the arrival of my very best, fellow band-geek friends for my bridal shower & bachelorette party.
Monica - 1st chair clarinet, the best in the biz. My roommate for two years in college.
Amanda - clarinet. We had our geek parties at her house. Movies, brownies, and juice boxes.
Jill - trombone. Co-creator of the trombone push-up. The other creator: yours truly.
Will we relive some of our favorite band memories? Probably. Will other shower attendees look at us like we're crazy? Yeah, most likely. Will we care? uhhhh....If we could walk around downtown Indianapolis in granny shoes, cumberbunds, and feathers on our heads do you think we'll really be bothered by a few blank stares??
You can almost smell the foul stench of misery. But I exaggerate.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Is this what married life is like?
Should I expect weekends full of plant shopping and doing dishes?
I hate doing dishes.
I never pair "mundane" and "Corey and Stacie" in the same phrase. Here’s a scenario of a typical C&S outing:
C&S take O for a walk through town. They stop for a nice lunch and are seated at an outside table. O lays down on the other side of the railing with his leash securely tied. C orders pasta, S orders pizza, O gets bread crusts. Dog #1 walks by, no reaction from O. Dog #2 walks by, O slightly agitated. Dog #3 walks by and stands with his owner, O now needs to be restrained.
Dog #3 starts to walk away, O decides to go with him. He breaks free of C, breaks free of collar, runs free through downtown Saratoga Springs. C runs after him, nine other people run after him, S stands at the table shrieking.
O is finally caught. S grabs C’s credit card, runs across the street to Dawgdom and buys the cheapest collar she can find. O now wears a rather feminine wide green collar with brown polka dots.