Friday, April 29, 2011

Friday Confessions

1.  I hate wasting.  I mean, I will use watered down face soap, hand soap, dish soap, shampoo, etc. for weeks just to make sure I get every last drop out.  But I draw the line at dish sponges.

Washed four dishes, time to throw it out!

Those suckers are nasty, and the smell of one even slightly used makes me gag.

2.  I might be the only adult who loves Peeps.  I've never grown out of sugar coated fluffy sugar.

3.  Don't get me started on chocolate covered Peeps.  I hope the genius who created that masterpiece got a raise.

4.  Now that I have about half a million felt balls to throw together I'm finding myself very busy all the time.  I am also finding wool clinging to every surface I come in contact with at home, at work, in my car, etc.

5.  Guilty pleasure, movie edition: Dirty Dancing Havana Nights.  Don't judge.

6.  I thought I was being really good about my new healthy breakfast of oatmeal with walnuts.  Then I realized how much brown sugar I added.

7.  While feeling around pocket in my purse for my lipstick I found the two chocolate Nestle eggs I threw in for after lunch and what I thought was a third:

"Oh!  I packed three, wait.  That's a bouncy ball."

8.  I keep strange things in my purse.  However, I did finally take out the little bottle of Tabasco sauce.  In the two years it's been in there I have not found it necessary.

9.  But I did keep the night light.

10.  My sister called me an Indian giver last week.  I told her that saying isn't quite correct.

"Fine.  Then you're a Native American giver."

Not really my confession, but funny nonetheless.

Happy Friday!!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Ten on Tuesday

I sure hope these April Showers are ready to stop by Sunday when, you know, it's not April anymore.

But I digress.  Time for some Tens:

1. How many blogs do you read every day and what are they? (I’m talking the ones you NEVER miss)
Depends on if they post every day (ahem, most of you, ahem).  Of course there's Chelsea's Roots and Awesomeness, Erin's Sassy Self, Jen's Extremely Busy World because I only seem to see her in blog world on Tuesdays, and Mamarazzi's Dandelion Funny-as-Heck Wishes.  Those are my staples.

Passive Aggressive Notes gives me a chuckle, Life Between the Trees is so cute it hurts,  Ashley's Antics should be called Stacie's Twin's Antics.

New to my always growing list: super funny Random Stupidness, Something Different, Some Catchy Thing.

And then there are the others I know I am forgetting...

2. How many “best friends” do you have? Do you have different “besties” for different areas of your life?
I designate best friends for every activity I am involved in that includes two or more people.

But overall, I would say I have three besties: my sisters and my high school friend, Jill.  People you've known for as long as I've known these girls just automatically become your best friends because you can fart in front of them.

3. What’s your daily make up routine?
I put it on, my face gets oily, it runs into my eyes, I take it off.

4. What is your ideal girl’s night?
Something that ends at 10pm with "special" chocolate milk and giggling.

5. Do you keep up with your nails/toenails or are they au natural?
I keep my toe nails pretty in the summer and then let them go wild in the fall, winter and spring.  I mean, I still cut them, but I don't bother with the painting.

I love painting my fingernails, but I haven't had time to maintain a good paint job.  Maybe someday, when I can hire out all processes in jewelry making to young children....sigh.

6. What’s your best roommate story?
My last roommate would borrow my clothes without asking, and then I would find out when I saw her in them her at our office.  She also let her mom's boyfriend sleep half naked on an air mattress in the room I kept all my clothes in.  That's a mental picture I've never been able to erase.
7. What’s your “go to” outfit that you wear more than anything else?
I don't think I have an entire outfit.  But I do prefer the sweater I'm wearing today, it's a green wool blend, 3/4 sleeves and buttons on the shoulder.  My other "go to" shirt is a gray cotton turtleneck that is ruched on the neck, sides, and sleeves.  I go cozy.  No polyester for this lady.

8. Do you have a beauty secret?
Good lookin' parents.  And that's all I got.

9. Did you read Seventeen magazine growing up?
YES!!  I looooved Seventeen.  But they didn't have posters like Tiger Beat.  Boo.

10. How did you learn to put on makeup?
I think I just copied what I saw on other people.  Eventually I got the kind that diagrammed where stuff was supposed to go for make-up challenged folks like me.


Bye now!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Weekend Wrap Up: TBD

I had a lovely weekend, despite the finicky weather.

(first it's sunny, then it snows, then it rains, then it's clear, then it rains, then it's sunny, then it rains, etc.)

I wish I could tell you about it, but I have yet to receive the pictures from my mother's camera.

The pictures she promised to send to me ASAP.

And I just can't tell a story about an alpaca spitting in my sister's face without photo evidence.


Saturday, April 23, 2011

Saturday Randomocity

Friday Confessions is a bust this week.

On account of me forgetting yesterday was Friday.


I was busy taking the day off from work, and there was a lot going on.

I had to, you know, walk the dog, and make myself a hearty egg breakfast, and throw some necklaces together, and have lunch with a friend, and act in two Good Friday plays.

How can you forget it's Friday when you're in a Good FRIDAY play?

In the same way I could not know there onions in onion rings when I was five.

Things happen.

Plus, I didn't have much to confess anyway.  I'm gettin' a little sloppy with these things.

Here's one I would have listed:

I picked up my aunt's cat.  The one that doesn't seem to like being held or touched or talked to or looked at.  It was my goal to snuggle the beast, so on the last day I just went for it when her mouth was facing away from my face, so essentially I was grabbing her by the backside.  I screamed, "Look!!  I'm holding the CAT!"  It lasted all of five seconds, but it was magical.

One more:

Ever since Corey picked up a ricotta pie (tastes like a cheesecake) earlier this week I've made it a habit to take a piece with me to bed.  And I eat it in bed.  I can almost hear my saddlebags growing.

And that's all the news that's fit to print.

Later gators.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Knock off the Jesus Jokes

Ladies and Gentlemen, quick question for you: being as how we are about 2,000 years removed from the guy who, you know, saved us from eternal damnation, do we really still need to mock Him and make Him the butt of our jokes?

I mean, whether you believe he is who he said he was, is it really necessary to poke fun at anyone who felt so strongly about something they died because of it?  At the very least, can't we give him a little bit of credit for being tenacious?

Wow, Stace, where is this coming from??

Yesterday seemed to be the day for Jesus/God parodies on TV shows.  Normally I'm not that big of a fan and I'm able to pass by without much of a hissy fit, but now that we are so close to Good Friday and Easter it just seems in bad taste.  And that gets my dander up.

And when my dander is up it doesn't go down so easily, at least not without shedding a few choice words.

These are them words.

I just chose to aim them at you because you're here.  How nice of me.

Nothing personal.  Sometimes a gal just needs to let somebody know something, and puttin' it out on the Internets is a whole lot easier than a personal note to my co-workers, a note to the producer of this show and then that show and the other show, and another one to the person standing on the side of the street and the friend of a friend of a friend of my friend, or...etc, etc.

Because there are just too many people being tacky.

I know not everyone is going to believe what I believe or to the extent I believe it, but folks, I'm not laughing at your Aunt Alma who poops when she sneezes because I'm sure she doesn't like it as much as you don't like smelling it, so the least you can do is lay off my Lord and Savior.



Wednesday, April 20, 2011

In Other News

Two weeks before I left for my vacation I think I wrote a post about being super anxious.

I could actually go back and find that post but I have a belly full of mac 'n cheese and it's preventing me from doing any more movement than necessary lest it stir me from my mid-day semi-slumber.

I was anxious about Corey and my house-hunting progress and the lack thereof.  I saw houses I liked and I just wanted to get one already.

Good news.

No, my darling husband and I did not find and/or purchase a house, but we did finally take some pretty big steps and are just this close to being homeowners!

The only thing standing in our way is, um, finding the house.

There was also this little matter involving a super dooper craft fair going on in my town later this spring for which I applied to sell my felt goodies.  It's the kind of fair that draws 30,000+ people over the weekend and only lets certain vendors in.

More good news.

They lost my application.

Say wha...?!

Hold the phone, just let me finish.

So, they have absolutely no record of me existing.  Even though I hand delivered my application to the office in an envelope that was clearly marked "June Festival," it has been hopelessly lost.

In a series of emails with the person in charge I tried my darnedest to find out what this meant for me without actually asking, "What the heck does this mean, lady?  Am I in or out??"

And then I left the dirty work up to my co-worker.  After getting no where in the emailing, and having to leave for vacation the next day, Sharon marched down to the office and worked some kind of magic that landed me a spot in the show...woohoo!

See, good news. 

It just takes me a few extra minutes to get to the end of the story.

I like stories.

Adventures in the Air...port

Oh the joys of traveling.

And by traveling I mean any mode of ground transportation.

Like driving the open road.  Taking a train and enjoying the scenery.  Or busing across country forming bonds with strangers and singing show tunes to pass the time.

In no way would I put "joy" in the same sentence with "flying." 

Especially not now, as I recover from my trip back home from Washington.

Yes, I did make it home.

Yes, I do still have all of the same (plus some) affects I took with me.

But boy did I have some time of it.


My journey began Sunday night as I made my way through Seattle's airport.  Have you ever attempted this maze?  First you have to find the security checkpoint, not easy at 10pm when half of everything is shut down and you wonder if they really would make you walk all the way down the the end of the airport.

They do.

Then, if like me you leave from gate "N" as in Nowhere Near Here, you have to walk down a series of halls, down several flights of stairs and take a train halfway across the tarmac.

Then, if like me, when you leave your wallet at the security checkpoint and are paged over the loudspeaker you have to walk all the way back to the beginning and start again.

This is why you give yourself plenty of time.

Unless you know your head is screwed on straight.

My flight left at 11:30pm.  Also known as two hours past my bedtime.  I hadn't slept since the night before, and even then it wasn't a sound sleep, so I expected to nod off for at least part of the four hour flight to Washington-Dulles Airport.

Silly dreamer.  Of course I didn't sleep.  How could I when every bump and wiggle had me convinced the plane was going to break apart in mid air?

No problem, I thought as I landed at 7am, I'll be home by 9:30 and I can sleep then.  In my own bed.  Snuggled with Oliver-dog.

That was all dependent on whether or not there would be a plane to take me home.

Which there wasn't.

Of course.

I waited at my gate, read my book, and glanced occasionally at the time.  By the time we were supposed to depart I noticed we still weren't even on the plane.  The lady at the desk told me we were waiting for a plane in Newark.

I assumed we were waiting on the plane to land.


We wouldn't find out until, oh, five hours later the darn thing wasn't even scheduled to leave.

By about 10:30am people started to get a little antsy.  A few guys hung out at the counter for answers.  Nice lady was replaced by mean shorty guy.

"We have no idea when the plane will be here."

(mass grumbling)

"You know, we have people waiting here since FRIDAY."

(louder grumblings, you might call it shouting)

"You will be most likely waiting here all day."

(pitch forks out, torches lit)

"Talk to the hand."

Say wha...?! 

Yes, this little guy actually told one angry customer to "talk to the hand."  And when angry man's phone started to ring, short man told him to answer the call and leave him alone.

At this point I called Corey and cried.  I did not want to be stuck in an airport.  I wanted to go home, take a shower, and nap the day away.  The worst of it was these airport people couldn't even give us a rough estimate of when we could expect a plane.

Three hours?  Five hours?  Twenty-four hours??

"We really have no idea."

Fine.  More crying in the bathroom.

But first a potty break.

And of course I find the super sensitive automatic toilet.

Of course.

(spoiler alert: i talk about bathroom stuff here, just so you know)

I place the seat cover on the seat and sit.  I reach over to grab my phone from my purse and...



Place second seat cover on the seat and...


Not funny, toilet.

Place third seat cover on....


Waterworks.  "I just wanna sit down and peeeeee....and I wanna go hooooome."

Place fourth seat cover on the se....


Oh.  Em.  Gee.  This cannot be happening.  What do I do?  Pee in the sink?

Place fifth seat cover on my butt and sit down.

And I pee.

Then I stand up.


I wave my hand in front of the sensor.


I act like I'm putting a seat cover on.


I Push.  The.  Button.


By this time I'm hungry.  I know, great transition.  But that's what happened.

So I ate.  I watched other travelers walk down to their gates where they most likely got on planes and flew away.

They didn't know how lucky they were...sigh.

I talked to my parents who were worried about me.  Rightly so, I was definitely losing my marbles. 

And I considered my options:  1) I could stay at the airport until my plane came, possibly all day and night; 2) I could go to a hotel, sleep, and take the earliest flight out on Tuesday; 3) fly to LaGuardia and then to Albany, and pray my luggage follows.

Fortunately, we were notified at 1:30pm that the plane we were waiting for in Newark had left.

People four gates over must have wondered what all the commotion over at A5 was for.

We were happy.  And within two hours we were in the air. 

Not long after that I was sitting in Corey's car heading home, where I'm pretty sure he talked to me.  By then I'd gone 30 hours without sleep and my mental capacity was limited to functional systems.  You know, like breathing, and keeping my heart beating, and not drooling all over myself.

We got home, I took a shower, ate some deviled eggs and tater tots, and went to bed.  It was the best 11 hours of sleep I've ever had, and by 7am I was fully recovered.


Mentally, however, I have resolved to never, ever fly again.

Until my next vacation.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Ten on Tuesday

This is exciting...ten questions on my favorite form of nerdery:  BOOKS!!  Short story: when I was in Jr. High we had this computer program where you take a quiz on different books you read for extra credit in English classes.  At the end of the quarter all of my class's points were tallied and read aloud.  "So-and-so, 10 points.  So-and-so, 25 points.  So-and-so, 15 points.  Stacie, 250 points."

No joke.  I love me some reading.

1. When someone asks you for a book recommendation, what is your go-to book?
Wuthering Heights and Love in the Time of Cholera (i'm a hopeless romantic) and then I say, "Here, you can borrow mine.  I have three copies."

2. Do you buy your books, or are you a library patron?
Yes.  I buy books at my library.  Three times a year the Friends of Crandall Library open up the basement for a book sale where I buy as many $.50 and $1 books as I can carry.  And I may or may not use my entire lunch break to do so.

Buying last year's new releases for $1: sooooo worth it.

3. E-readers, yay or nay?
No thank you.  I like bookshelves lined with books.  I may have this eventually.  Right now I use the boxes and stacks storage method.

4. What was your favorite book as a child?
If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.  The idea of the thing, seriously, you give a mouse a cookie and then he wants some milk!  I mean, it's absurdly precious!

5. If you could be any character in a book, who would you be?
The one that got to sit around all day being fed little chocolates by baby unicorns while watching endless episodes of Golden Girls and Lifetime movies.

That book hasn't actually been written yet, but I think I saw it in the works somewhere...

6. What book would you love to see turned into a movie?
Cellophane.  It was a fancy tale of a family living in the jungle making lots of money producing cellophane.  I'm pretty sure it was a fictional story because there was a little bit 'o magic.  Fancy magic.

7. What is your all-time favorite book?
See answer to #1.  Although I have lots and lots of "really, really like" books.

8. How many books do you read at once?
Just one.  Sometimes I have to go long periods of time between opportunities to read, so if I had more than one book I might just go crazy wondering why this love story is turning into a murder investigation or why that story on how the west was won is now taking place in Russia.

9. What is your favorite book genre?
Historical fiction.  I like to know what happened a long time ago, but please, oh please give it to me like a bedtime story.

10. Which Harry Potter book is the best? Or haven’t you read them at all?
Still haven't read any Harry.  They are, however, on my list.  Even though someone spilled the beans about what happened at the very, very end.  My fault for not jumping on the stuff sooner.


Adults should be made to give book reports.  I'm just sayin'.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Retreat Wrap-Up

Was my vacation confusing to you?

I just realized I've talked about wandering around my aunt's house, her dog, collecting crabs, and then I'm talking about sewing for hours on end.  I've been in two different places and I don't think I even told you what the heck was going on!

Bad blogger, very bad.

Let's catch up: Corey's Christmas present to me was two-fold, a visit with my aunt, uncle and cousin, and then the quilting retreat my aunt's quilt group planned months ago.  My mom and I flew in Thursday night.  We hung out with the fam and did all that crazy driving that nearly sent me to the toilet to reverse my digestion.

And then, on Sunday we left for the coast and a house on the beach to do some hard core sewing (wrap-up to follow, shortly), which we did, hard corely.  And Thursday morning we packed up all the goodies and went back to my aunt's house to do more hanging.  Until Sunday.

Are we less confused now?

So, let's begin the wrap-up.

I can tell you are just shaking with anticipation.  But for time sake, I'll spare the stitch-by-stitch detail.

Here's the gang.

Boy were they goofy.  And efficient.

And since I signed an oath in blood to leave all the happenings of the quilt group with the quilt group, I can't share the funnier moments and conversations.

But I will say I am fully prepared for life's little changes.

We stayed in a house on the beach.  Which meant we spent time on the beach.  Two whole hours to be exact.  It was the less gloomy, calmer two hours of our stay.

 Isn't she pretty?

This was when we collected enough driftwood to build me a little raft on which I can float all the way back to New York.

Through the Panama Canal, of course.  It would just be downright silly to go all the way around South America.

But I digress.

We spent more time than you could possibly imagine working.  A couple of the gals were churning out a project a day, which we then hung on the walls.  By Thursday, we'd run out of wall space.

You can probably pick out my project in this group.

I'll give you a hint: it has a buncha stripes in it.

Yes, the one on the left.  I was happy to just finish something.  I spent the rest of the time rolling as many felt balls as my hands could manage.

(the other two quilts are my aunt's and mom's respectively, perty, aren't they?)

So that's that.  In summary: good time, good company, good eats, terrible weather.  In all, I give it an A.

Breakfast time, hasta manana!

(i know, spanish makes no sense in a post about quilting.  lo siento.)

Friday, April 15, 2011

Friday Confessions: Washington Edition

1.  Short story: my mom asked my aunt where her pasties are.

Long story: there are all these little coffee stands on the side of the road, some of which are fronts for strip joints where the baristas hand you your coffee with, um, not much on.  My aunt offered to make us some coffee drinks, thus my mom's question.

I guess you could call those girls bare-istas.  I am too much.

2.  My mom was on a roll: later when I said I wanted to go down to the water near my aunt's house and look for crabs like I did when I was six my mom said, "Why?  You can just get those from the coffee stands."
3.  It rains here.  All.  The.  Time.  But when you're on an inside-vacation it doesn't really matter.  In fact, I wished for heavy, stormy rain.  And it came.  The day we packed up our sewing goodies.

4.  Be careful what you wish for.  I'm just sayin'.

5.  I thank my lucky stars I somehow I got out of doing dishes the entire time we were in the retreat part of my vacation.  Because I hate dishes.  HATE.  I dislike them greatly.

6.  We walked the beach (pictures to come later) and along with collecting about a hundred pounds of driftwood that somehow is coming with me on the plane, we also ran across a dead stingray and a dead sea lion.  It was sooooo gross!  But I took pictures.  Just for you.  You're welcome.

7.  I have been wearing stretchy pants every day.  The kind that would hang out past my belly button if I let them.

8.  They've had free run of my torso.

9.  I worry about Oliver-dog when I'm gone, but Corey has assured me he's doing just fine.  And has been sleeping on my pillow.

10.  As I've been writing this my aunt's cat wandered down the stairs to where my mom and I have been staying (she in the spare bedroom, me in a sleeping bag on the family room floor).  She nosed her way into the bedroom where my felt balls are also drying.  I wonder what color they'll be after they are....expelled.

I guess I could go in and get her, but I just have too many blogs to catch up on!


Come back next Friday for more...I will have gone through several airports on my way home.  By.  Myself.  This just screams disaster!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Greetings from the rain capital of the world

Day Four: on this sewing retreat I have managed to put together half of a quilt and roll 100 felt balls.

My house-mates are on their 3rd and 4th finished quilts.

People, can I tell you: these ladies are work horses.  And my 28 year old body and brain are struggling to keep up.


My expectations of this week: wake up around 6:30am, have a cup of coffee and some breakfast together, comment on the weather, more small talk, shower, mosey to the sewing machines, sew, talk, sew, talk, break for lunch, sew, talk, sew, break for snack, sew, sew, sew, break for dinner, meander about randomly, go to bed at 9:30pm.

What's really going on:  wake up at 7:30am, sew, sew, sew, break for breakfast, sew, sew, sew, sew, sew, sew, sew, snack at machine, sew, sew, sew, sew, sew, gnaw on a sandwich at machine, sew, sew, sew, sew, sew, sew, break for dinner, sew, sew, sew, sew, sew, sew, sew, drag self to bed at 11pm.

This is more of a working vacation, but hey, I've been in yoga pants and no make-up the entire time.  And I've gotten to play with pretty fabric.  And I've learned about what to expect in the heartburn season of my life.  All very important criteria for a vacation.

I'll post pictures soon.  I'll show you what the other ladies are working on: incredible stuff, I tell ya what.  And then I'll show you what I managed to piece together and you'll say, "um, wow, is that all?  Haven't you been there for THREE whole days??"

But whatevs.  It's my hobby and I can do what I want with it.  As slowly as I want.

Later gators.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Ten on Tuesday

I love the randomness of the questions this week.  Makes me wonder what the thought process was...same as mine, fo' sho'.  Thanks to Chelsea, as always, for hosting this faboo TOT party.

1. If you work, do you drive to work or take public transportation?
Public transportation, wha...?  I live/work in nearly rural New York.  There is no public transportation.

2. How often do you get your haircut? Do you go to the same person every time?
My friend, Liz, has been doing my hair for years.  Which means she's cut it maybe four times.  You don't need to worry about trimming ends when those ends are tucked into a pony tail every. single. day.

3. Do you read the newspaper? If so, a hardcopy or the online version?
I read the local paper every day.  We kinda have to know what's going on in my boss's district so we aren't blindsided when a million calls come in about a certain article.

I, however, skip all those important tax increase, and rule change articles and skip to movie reviews, comics and Dear Abby.

4. What is the best book you have read this year?
Um, I'm a little behind in my book reading, but I do remember Shanghai Girls being pretty good.  I think Lisa See wrote it, or not, whatever.

5. What is the best movie you have seen this year?
Pass.  I have not watched a single movie this year.  New movie at least.  If you want to know what old movie I watched for the first time and enjoyed it was that Tom Cruise one where he's running from aliens who are taking over the world.

It's actually the only one I can remember watching...two days ago.

6. Do you tend to crave sweet or salty foods?
Both, equally and with great intensity.

7. Do you eat breakfast every day? If so, what do you have?
BREAKFAST IS THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY!  So, yes.  I do eat breakfast every day.  Either cereal or eggs.  This morning I hope to snatch some oatmeal from my aunt's stash.  If I don't eat something I get cranky.  This applies to every hour of the day.

8. If you celebrate Easter, what Easter treat/candy are you most looking forward to?
Chocolate everything.

9. How late is “sleeping in” to you?
7am.  And that's when I'm late to 10pm.

10. Where are you going on your next vacation?
To visit my grandpa in Mississippi.  1) I miss him.  2) He has a fun little property with a catfish pond.  3) The buffets in his town are comparable to none.

Weekend Wrap Up: Forgot It Was The Weekend Edition

Car sickness.  That's my news. 

I've been sick more than I haven't while on this vacation thanks to endless coffee trips, trips to the grocery store to stock up for our quilt retreat on the coast, Macy's shopping x 3 thanks to my mom's indecisiveness on whether she liked the lavender Jones windbreaker or the blue Nautica, and fabric shopping.

I've tried sucking on some candied ginger, which has stomach easing properties, but all it managed to do was make my tongue tingle.  A bit unnerving.

Just yesterday I heard, "does anyone want to take a trip into town?"

Hahahaha, no.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Losing track of days

Another fun part about being on vacation is that you lose track of days

What's that?  It's Saturday?  Feels like Flubbday to me.

You also make up names for days because vacation days are not regular days.  Yesterday was Friday, but it didn't feel the same as normal Fridays so does that mean I can still call it Friday?

Well now I'm opening up a philosophical can of worms I'm just not prepared, fish with.

There's another saying I don't understand.

But I digress.

Wanna see some pictures?!


This is Sophie, my aunt's dog.  Isn't she precious?

How about now?

Oh look I've gone and embarrassed her.

More on or blossoming relationship later.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Greetings from a totally different time zone

From east to west.  From 12pm to 9am.  It's a huge difference.  Especially when you're body is telling you it's so far past your bedtime it's almost time to start the day but the clock says it's still a decent hour.

It's throwing my blogging way off.  And I'm not good with change.

This is going to be a long 12 days.

But at least they'll be full of fun and adventures in quilting and that should keep my mind off the inconsistencies in my brain.

Bear with me.  We all will need to adjust our schedules, but just until next Tuesday.

Or Wednesday, I'll need a day to nap.

Peace out home skillets.

Friday Confessions

1.  I can be lazy about some things.  Like when I ran out of mascara two months ago, instead of running out to Target, or stopping by the beauty section while already there, I've just decided to go without.  Last week I ran out of eyeliner.

2.  I left Corey...

3. go on vacation.

4.  I don't like being pranked.  Not.  At.  All.  But I have no problem crafting a fancy story to fool my mom.

5.  On Sunday I found random blood splatters on my coat.  I have no idea where it came and my hand touched it.  I am still very, very grossed out.

6.  I ate a pulled pork wrap with cole slaw for lunch Monday.  I don't like pork, I don't like BBQ sauce, and I don't like cole slaw, but mixed together they made beautiful music.

7.  For my 12 day vacation I spent several hours on Tuesday night laying out all my outfits and shoes and unmentionables.  Corey said, "You know you don't leave tomorrow, right?"  "Of course I know that!" I said.  But I didn't.

8.  So far on our little trip my mom and I have several stories that will need to be shared, like how on our travel day, yesterday, in total we were up for nearly 24 hours and by the end of it neither of us wanted to say much of anything to each other or anyone else.

9.  True to form, I immediately tried to pick up my aunt's chihuahua, Sophie.  Now, not only is Sophie not my friend, she also turned the cat, Lucy, against me.

10.  I still try to pick up Sophie.


More later, my friends. 

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Happy Quilting

I leave tomorrow at 1pm for Seattle.

I'm sure I mentioned this trip before, like after Christmas when Corey surprised me with my plane tickets.

My aunt, uncle and cousin live in Washington, and I've been itchin' to visit again.  It's only been....oh, almost 15 years since I was there last, and there's this quilting retreat I really wanted to go to...

What's that ya say?

 Um, I haven't been there in 15 years?

No, the other thing.

My aunt and uncle live there?

No, the thing about the quilts.

Oh, yeah, the retreat.

So, I figured if there is such a thing, I would be an old soul.  As such, I enjoy spending time with my fellow oldies to discuss such things as pie crusts, the good ol' days, and menopause all while whipping up a good quilt.  And wouldn't you know it, while I'm there my aunt and a buncha ladies are renting a house on the ocean to do nothing but quilt and jabber on about wrinkle cream!

This is truly my idea of heaven. 

See, I'm getting these little lines around my eyes and...

But I digress.

There's just one problem: I have to fly there.  From here.

For those of you who are new to the Corey & Stacie scene, we live in New York State.  The other side of the country.

Could this be any more opposite??

Maybe if I was coming from Miami...but I have a feeling if I was in Miami I would never, ever, ever leave.  So this would not be a problem.

I have multiple issues with traveling by plane.  One of which is traveling, in general.

Motion sickness.

Boy do I get queasy with any mode of transportation.  Planes and boats being the worst.  For short trips (but not too short) I can manage fine.  But the long trips leave me sick and cramped.

I'll explain:  I've learned over the years that the only way to manage my motion sickness while flying is to prop my head on my hand with my elbow on the arm rest.  Don't ask me why this works, it just does.  And for three hours I can stay in this position without any ill affects.  But after six hours (like the time it takes to fly from, say, Albany to Seattle) I look stupid and can't straighten my neck afterward.  After one such flight my seat mate (stranger) said, "Wow, you slept through the whole flight!"   Me, "(nervous laugh) Yeah."

But I didn't.

My other issue is with the actual act of flying itself.  You know, a big steal tube magically floating around in the air.  I'm sure there's a better explanation of how the thing stays up there, but all I need to know is that it's not on the ground.  The hard, solid, not moving ground.

Corey tells me constantly the statistics on how safe it is to fly.  But as long as planes are still breaking in half and throwing people into the ocean, I'm going to be a stinkin' nutcase.  Before a trip to Hawaii in high school my doctor prescribed me Valium for the flight.  I ended up taking two but was still a bucket of nerves.

And it doesn't help that my mother, each and every time I fly, tells me, "Just make sure you're right with God."  Thanks mom.  At least she's going with me this time and I can give her the mother of all Indian burns when she attempts to "reassure" me.

In all, I'm excited about my trip.  I love visiting with family, I love my aunt's house, I have such good memories of being there, I love old lady conversation, I love occasions that call for nothing but yoga pants, I love crafts.

Just have to get through those first six hours....!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Ten on Tuesday

1. What is your ideal best date?
Depends on my mood: right now, as I am tired and the sky is a depressing shade of gray, a good date would be pizza and a movie...and a foot rub...and cookies.  Can't have a date without cookies.

2. How long does it take you to get ready to go on a date?
Five years ago: two hours.  Now: the time it takes to put on some sneakers.

Just kidding.  I make my hair pretty, too.

3. What would you wear on the date?
Jeans and a sweater, no matter the time of year.

4. If you are married, how often do you go on dates? If you are single, when was your last date?
Never.  Unless you call going to a sports bar to watch a game with your husband and five of his friends, or watching TV in one room while he watches TV in another room a date.  In that case, we date a lot.

5. What was your worst date?
I met a blind date at a coffee shop a few months before I met Corey.  He was five inches shorter than me, answered his cell phone three times, and talked about himself and all of his toys (boat, motorcycle, fancy car) the entire time.  And then he didn't understand why I didn't want to see him again.

6. Do you/Did you kiss on your first date?
I didn't have a kissing policy, it just worked out that I never kissed on a first date

7. If married, how long before you knew he/she was the one? If single, how long before you know if the person is marriage material?
I don't know...

8. Do you prefer day dates or night dates?
I love day dates.  I can stay awake through a day date.  Because I get up early even on weekends, I can't stay awake past 10pm.  Even just thinking about 9pm makes me sleepy.

Excuse me while I knit an afghan.

9. How old were you when you first were allowed to date?
I think the rule at our house was 16, but even then my parents required each suitor to pass several rounds of interrogations.  Only one passed, and that was because he brought me flowers and offered them to my mom.

10. What is the most embarrassing moment you have had on a date?
In one such interrogation my parents did not approve and I had to drive myself to and from the football game, following my date in his car.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Driving Miss Dizzy

I spent some time with my sister, Kimberlie, over the weekend.  We drove down to Albany for a play our friend Liz's (aka, sister from another mother and father) step-daughter was in.

Kimberlie provided the in-flight entertainment.

In Starbuck's drive through:

"I have to pee."

"Me too."

"I guess we shouldn't be getting coffee."


"Because coffee is a diuretic."

"What does that mean?"

"It makes you have to pee."

"Oh.  I thought it meant it gives you diabetes..."


(later, passing a car with a Massachusetts license plate)

"I'm glad we didn't end up moving there.  I wouldn't be able to say my state's name!"

"What?  You can't say Massachusetts??"

"No, I always end up swearing at the end."



"Hahahahahaha!!  It's MassaCHuSetts."


"Hahaha(snort)hahaha!!  Ok, ok, let's practice.  Repeat after me: Massa..."






(i wish i could tell you she was joking)

"Ok, try this: MassaChu..."











"Stacie, I think I'm better off saying Massa-two-shits than MassaChu...Setts."

"You're right...just make sure you say it really fast."

Friday, April 1, 2011

Friday Confessions: Redo

I'm fresh out of confessions for this week (read: forgot to keep track of all the dumb things I did since last Friday) so I'm going to recycle an old post from last year.  On my birthday, to be exact.  So when you read #10 don't feel the need to wish me a happy birthday three and a half months early, thanksomuch.

1. While in a fancy lady dress at a ballet gala I got bit by a mosquito. On my butt. What is the best way to go about scratching without being inappropriate?

2. I fall asleep to King of the Hill.

3. At the gala I met Sex and the City author Candace Bushnell and managed to not walk all over my tongue. She probably will want to write a book about me.

4. When did I walk all over my tongue? When I met the Mayor of the Village of South Glens Falls. I am sure he still remembers the idiot working reception at the Post Star. (this was before i worked for a State Senator.)

5. For this reason, when Rudy Giuliani came to an event honoring my boss I refused to meet him.

6. I only allow myself to take medicine when I feel like I am going to die. Ditto for doctor visits.
"It looks like you have swine flu. You should be wearing this mask and you'll have to use the back door."
Both in one day. Super fun.

7. I may or may not have spent my lunch break scrolling through Paris Hilton's twitpics.

8. I love Matlock.

9. I also love Blues Traveler, despite the pledge I took with my best friend in 6th grade that they were the worst band ever...along with Hootie and the Blowfish. I secretly anti-pledged the pledge.

10. Today is my birthday.....!