Lesson learned: some details need a liiiiitle more elaboration when telling a story through bullet points.
Like when one mentions possibly busting up a drug deal in a recent excursion to a certain state capital.
Were the cops involved?
Was your life in danger?
Did someone bust a cap?
It's a natural tendency to think of the worst possible scenario when given limited information.
(guilty, oh so guilty)
(i blame it on my vivid imagination)
(we're getting off topic here)
(by we i mean me)
(sorry to drag you in there)
So to set the record straight, I may have exaggerated my bullet point.
But I may not have either!
You tell me: there I was driving all around the dark streets of Albany trying to find parking space on a Saturday night of all nights. I stop at a light and see what I think are several spots along a side street. But as I'm waiting I see two suspicious characters walk across the street to one of the parked cars and get in. They just sit there. I pull in in front of the car and see a person get out of the car behind me and go into the car in front of me and just sit there.
Weird.
And then a really nice SUV pulls up next to me and stares at me.
Was he trying to see if I was one of his regulars?
Was he trying to see if I was a cop??
That's when I grabbed everything of any value, ran toward the restaurant, and prayed my car would still be there with all four of its tires when I came back.
So, what would you call that?
Being not so familiar with drug deals I just assumed that's what that was.
I guess it could have been a meeting with a hit man, or maybe just two parents getting together under the cover of darkness to discuss the terms of their custody arrangement.
We'll never know.
And that is where my story ends. I came back out later and my car was there, my tires were there and no one was hiding in the back seat waiting to ambush me for bein' a snitch.
So, thoughts?
Concerns?
Questions?
Recommendations to get my brain examined?
I welcome your comments.
The nice ones.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
The early years
Hello friends. Happy Wednesday!
Or, if you're like me, Happy Tuesday and Happy Thursday!
My, um, calendar ran out on me yesterday and I'm completely lost without it.
So to celebrate Wednesday, and February, and the fact that it's waaaay too stinkin' warm for winter I'm going to post somethin'.
Lucky you!
I found a few pictures at my parents' house recently:
These two crazy kids fully embracing the styles of the late 70s are my parents. Young, and in love, and fully unaware that within 10 years they will have three very loud, yet amazingly well-behaved children.
I love old pictures.
I love my parents.
I love my dad's face in the top right picture.
That's what he does.
He also mistakenly pronounces "exacerbate" in a very embarrassing way.
My parents worked at a boy's academy when I was young as house parents in a barracks full of seventh graders.
Handsome couple.
Needless to say, I was the center of attention.
Oh the memories.
Eventually these two adorable yahoos came along.
I love old pictures.
...and reminiscing.
...and bowl cuts.
...and mama's old aprons.
...and my family.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Ten on Tuesday
Ten on Tuesday with Chelsea is back! Girlfriend took a much needed hiatus but now we're up and running and all is right with the world again.
1. What’s your variety of apple?
Pink lady. So appropriate, right? But I will say that before I moved to friggin' apple country I thought an apple was an apple. Except for the green ones. Those made my face hurt.
2. Do you prefer Long-English or Field cucumbers?
No, thank you.
Yuck.
3. Tomatoes – Delicious or disgusting?
I'll eat one with a big ol' glob of mozzarella, or anything else that can mask all of the flavor.
4. What’s one fruit or vegetable that you can’t stand and why is that?
Beets. A word of caution: if you go into a beet soup expecting red velvet cake (and why wouldn't you, it will be the most beautiful shade of red and so silky smooth) you will be disappointed. Beets taste like dirt.
5. What’s your favourite way to prepare veggies? (Grilled, boiled, roasted, sautéed, etc.)
Steamed. It's easy. I dont need it to be delicious, just soft enough to go down quick. I'm in it for the vitamins.
6. Sweet potato pie: Love it or hate it?
Never had it. But. I. Want it.
7. What’s your favourite “style” of French fry? Wedges, shoelace, curly, crinkle-cut or other?
Steak fries are my weakness. So much so that I eat them off of others' plates.
8. What’s your favourite fruit-pie filling?
Razzleberry. I'm not entirely sure what this means, but Mrs. Smith does and she does it goooooood. It's tart and sweet and goes perfectly with ice cream. This is my dessert of choice for bad days.
9. When you were a kid did your parents make you sit at the table until all your veggies were eaten off your plate?
I was such a good child there was probably never a meal where I didn't eat all of my vegetables.
That's probably wrong. I just don't remember!
10. Do you drink veggie & fruit juice blends (such as V8, etc.) or make them yourself?
Here's something you might not know: fructose from fruit juice has the same negative long-term affects on your liver as alcohol. So I tend to stay away from the stuff, unless I absolutely need a shot of OJ with my scrambled eggs.
1. What’s your variety of apple?
Pink lady. So appropriate, right? But I will say that before I moved to friggin' apple country I thought an apple was an apple. Except for the green ones. Those made my face hurt.
2. Do you prefer Long-English or Field cucumbers?
No, thank you.
Yuck.
3. Tomatoes – Delicious or disgusting?
I'll eat one with a big ol' glob of mozzarella, or anything else that can mask all of the flavor.
4. What’s one fruit or vegetable that you can’t stand and why is that?
Beets. A word of caution: if you go into a beet soup expecting red velvet cake (and why wouldn't you, it will be the most beautiful shade of red and so silky smooth) you will be disappointed. Beets taste like dirt.
5. What’s your favourite way to prepare veggies? (Grilled, boiled, roasted, sautéed, etc.)
Steamed. It's easy. I dont need it to be delicious, just soft enough to go down quick. I'm in it for the vitamins.
6. Sweet potato pie: Love it or hate it?
Never had it. But. I. Want it.
7. What’s your favourite “style” of French fry? Wedges, shoelace, curly, crinkle-cut or other?
Steak fries are my weakness. So much so that I eat them off of others' plates.
8. What’s your favourite fruit-pie filling?
Razzleberry. I'm not entirely sure what this means, but Mrs. Smith does and she does it goooooood. It's tart and sweet and goes perfectly with ice cream. This is my dessert of choice for bad days.
9. When you were a kid did your parents make you sit at the table until all your veggies were eaten off your plate?
I was such a good child there was probably never a meal where I didn't eat all of my vegetables.
That's probably wrong. I just don't remember!
10. Do you drink veggie & fruit juice blends (such as V8, etc.) or make them yourself?
Here's something you might not know: fructose from fruit juice has the same negative long-term affects on your liver as alcohol. So I tend to stay away from the stuff, unless I absolutely need a shot of OJ with my scrambled eggs.
Real men improvise
Recently Corey and I had to rearrange some of the pictures we have hanging around our apartment.
I say "had to" because Corey was itchin' for something new.
We got everything all lined up and ready to go on the walls when Corey said,
"Hang on a sec. I'll grab my tool box."
What he brought out was a box. Of tools. A small cardboard box.
My husband has a literal tool box.
(turns nose up) And I bet your husband has one of those clanky metal things. That is sooooo pretentious.
I say "had to" because Corey was itchin' for something new.
We got everything all lined up and ready to go on the walls when Corey said,
"Hang on a sec. I'll grab my tool box."
What he brought out was a box. Of tools. A small cardboard box.
My husband has a literal tool box.
(turns nose up) And I bet your husband has one of those clanky metal things. That is sooooo pretentious.
Monday, January 30, 2012
You asked, Stacie answered
I heard you.
You were dying to know what we did this weekend.
It's because Corey and I lead such fascinating lives you feel the need to live your own through us, right?
That's what I thought.
Without further ado, our weekend in bullets:
What's that, you say?
You may have overestimated the amount of excitement you expected to find here?
Would this be more or less riveting if I told you those pajamas had pink flamingos on them?
....
Hello?
You were dying to know what we did this weekend.
It's because Corey and I lead such fascinating lives you feel the need to live your own through us, right?
That's what I thought.
Without further ado, our weekend in bullets:
- pajamas
- oatmeal
- pajamas
- crepes
- pajamas
- lame daytime TV
- more TV
- some felting
- horse racing
- pajamas
- shower!
- navigate Albany to find restaurant
- interrupt drug deal
- birthday dinner for friend
- dream of pajamas
- pajamas
- church
- pajamas
- felting
- stomach ache
What's that, you say?
You may have overestimated the amount of excitement you expected to find here?
Would this be more or less riveting if I told you those pajamas had pink flamingos on them?
....
Hello?
Friday, January 27, 2012
Friday Confessions
Friday rewind! This one is from the good ol' days....2010.
1. I would like to find a job that included nap time as a company policy.
2. My Friday nights are spent baking. Because I am a 75 year old grandmother.
3. I really do think those Reebok butt shapers will make me look like the girls in the commercials. "Who wears short shorts?" Well if I had those shoes I could, but I wouldn't because I like to set a good example for the younger pre-adolescents .
4. My friend had a baby last Thursday. She has since uttered the words "nipple confusion" and I am now concerned for all future conversations.
5. I really did walk around NYC on Sunday with my fly down. Again.
6. A driver's ed car went by my office on Tuesday. It was on a flat bed with a smashed front end. Oh how I laughed at the poor flunky's expense.
7. My parents taught me a harsh, humiliating lesson in stealing when I was three. I have never even considered taking so much as a dust bunny from any store, home, or baseball diamond since then.
8. I am in a hippie transformation process. I now only eat free-range chicken, grass fed beef and cage free eggs. I am also considering buying a Subaru and not wearing deodorant.
9. Tomorrow is the Kentucky Derby, one of Corey's favorite days. I will be walking the dog and eating nachos because I bring bad luck to horse racing and girl talk to boy time.
10. I ate dessert before dinner last night. And then again after dinner. Because I'm an adult.
1. I would like to find a job that included nap time as a company policy.
2. My Friday nights are spent baking. Because I am a 75 year old grandmother.
3. I really do think those Reebok butt shapers will make me look like the girls in the commercials. "Who wears short shorts?" Well if I had those shoes I could, but I wouldn't because I like to set a good example for the younger pre-adolescents .
4. My friend had a baby last Thursday. She has since uttered the words "nipple confusion" and I am now concerned for all future conversations.
5. I really did walk around NYC on Sunday with my fly down. Again.
6. A driver's ed car went by my office on Tuesday. It was on a flat bed with a smashed front end. Oh how I laughed at the poor flunky's expense.
7. My parents taught me a harsh, humiliating lesson in stealing when I was three. I have never even considered taking so much as a dust bunny from any store, home, or baseball diamond since then.
8. I am in a hippie transformation process. I now only eat free-range chicken, grass fed beef and cage free eggs. I am also considering buying a Subaru and not wearing deodorant.
9. Tomorrow is the Kentucky Derby, one of Corey's favorite days. I will be walking the dog and eating nachos because I bring bad luck to horse racing and girl talk to boy time.
10. I ate dessert before dinner last night. And then again after dinner. Because I'm an adult.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Good ol' boy
Oliver
Birthday: July 15
Age: 6.5 years
Age in people years: 50-ish
Weight: 80lbs-ish
Breed: Golden Retriever
Energy level:
Hobbies: sleeping on the bed, chasing balls, peeing on things
Hopes, dreams and aspirations: go for a walk
Occupation: mid-level security: will bark at intruders/guests/other dogs if awake and if they look creepy
Awards and accolades: best dog in the whole world (currently undisputed)
Nicknames: Oliver-dog, Bro Wolf, Boss, Bud, Buster Bottoms
....
Corey and I got Oliver from a family that kept him locked in little bitty crate in a garage when he was 7 months old and now I can't imagine not having his long, lanky self snuggled up to me at night, panting his stinky trash breath in my face as if to say, "thank you for loving me...now can I lick the rest of dinner off your face??"
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