1. I would like to find a job that included nap time as a company policy.
2. My Friday nights are spent baking. Because I am a 75 year old grandmother.
3. I really do think those Reebok butt shapers will make me look like the girls in the commercials. "Who wears short shorts?" Well if I had those shoes I could, but I wouldn't because I like to set a good example for the younger pre-adolescents .
4. My friend had a baby last Thursday. She has since uttered the words "nipple confusion" and I am now concerned for all future conversations.
5. I really did walk around NYC on Sunday with my fly down. Again.
6. A driver's ed car went by my office on Tuesday. It was on a flat bed with a smashed front end. Oh how I laughed at the poor flunky's expense.
7. My parents taught me a harsh, humiliating lesson in stealing when I was three. I have never even considered taking so much as a dust bunny from any store, home, or baseball diamond since then.
8. I am in a hippie transformation process. I now only eat free-range chicken, grass fed beef and cage free eggs. I am also considering buying a Subaru and not wearing deodorant.
9. Tomorrow is the Kentucky Derby, one of Corey's favorite days. I will be walking the dog and eating nachos because I bring bad luck to horse racing and girl talk to boy time.
10. I ate dessert before dinner last night. And then again after dinner. Because I'm an adult.