This post is brought to you by my straw hair, my clumpy eyelashes and my new daily struggle against disheveledness.
Picks-up-quarters-off-the-street-but-just-quarters-because-it's-not-worth-risking-hepatitis-for-a-nickle....I'm thrifty is what I'm trying to say here.
I also don't get to the point quickly.
But anybaddecision, I ran out of a few beauty products two weeks ago: shampoo, and mascara. Usually I'll go a few weeks using Corey's man shampoo and stepping out into the world with naked eyelashes, but I felt ambitious. So I took a lunch trip to Target.
This is what I decided to get for my hair. It said "professionals" on the bottle and I remembered the commercials showing salon hair-doers using it and thinking it was super expensive. I said to myself, I says, "Stace, you know commercials don't lie. And if those hair-doers say this stuff is the best in the world you just might want to give it a shot."
So I did.
And it's awful.
Imagine my shock when I found my $1.50 bottle of shampoo left my hair complete dry and frizzy and generally yucky.
My advice is to avoid Suave's 2 in 1 shampoo, unless hot mess is the look you're going for.
Now, in that same Target trip I meandered down the make-up aisle. I literally dread buying mascara (which is why I go so long before buying a tube each time I run out) because it is just too expensive.
Seriously. You stick black goop into a teeny tube with a mini toothbrush stuck to the lid. Why does that cost $15? With this latest mascara purchase I wanted to prove to myself and to the world that it doesn't make a difference whether you're spending $15 at Clinique or $4.29 on Cover Girl.
Here's another surprise: it actually does.
My new "professional" mascara goes on in four very clumpy layers and then only comes off if I pull the entire eyelash out of my skin.
Save yourselves. And your eyelashes. Find your nearest Clinique counter, but only during bonus time because that's the only time you can justify to your husband why you just spent $30 on a tube of mascara the size of a tampon (and not even the heavy flow kind) and a one ounce jar of foundation.
"But just look at all this free stuff!"