Um, I wish someone had told me Christmas is Friday.
As in three days from now.
I mean, I knew, but I didn't know.
I think I just needed someone to say, "You know all that stuff you got wadded up in all those bags upstairs? Yeah, it needs to be under the tree next week."
And then I wish that same someone had said, "Oh, and you have to wrap it. Nicely."
Because now I'm stuck between a rock and a booger.
Do I put all my purchases in grocery sacks to save time for the production of hundreds of sprinkly cookies? Or do I make enemies out of neighbors and coworkers expecting holiday treats so I can spend hours wrapping gifts in fancy paper that will be in the garbage by Friday morning?
To my family and friends: If I give you a bag that says Hannaford Supermarket on it, that doesn't necessarily mean there are groceries in it. Just so you know.