Thursday, February 11, 2010

Losin' my faculties

Ever go through a traffic light and wonder 100 yards away if it was green?

Me too.

Ever drive half a mile, forgetting the entire time to watch the road in front of you?


I'm not sure I ever really had faculties, I mean, if we're talking about brain power, perception, or a clue, but I digress.

Monday, after a grueling day of blogging and facebook stalking, I get into my car and start toward the YMCA for my daily torture session.  I fidget with the heater, the butt-warmers, and the radio.  As I turn into traffic I am comletely oblivious to the thousands of pounds of metal, rubber, and fine leather upholstery coming at me in all directions because that is the exact moment I notice a cigarette lighter sticking out of the cigarette lighter hole. 

Wait, I thought there was a cover on that lighter hole...


For serious, how long has that sucker been there??

Barring a joke by some prankster who is into watching absent-minded bozos in action, that cigarette lighter has been with me and my car since the beginning:  two and a half years.

But this revelation does not come to me before a wave a panic swallows me whole like Jonah's whale (I teach a children's Sunday School class, these are the analogies I have to work with.)

Did I get into the wrong car?!

Because mistakenly taking the keys (in an office of 3) to an identical messy Alpine Frost 2006 Hyundai Tucson which belongs to a person who listens to the exact same radio stations programmed in the exact same order as me is totally plausible.

Duh.  Faculties.

Eventually, I laugh at myself, call a few people who laugh at myself.  Then I run through a red light...I think.

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