Here are a few nuggets to start your (hopefully short!) work week:
1. My hair smells like vinegar.
It's, um, a natural conditioner. Or so I've heard. Right now all I know is that I have a mason jar full of something that looks like pee and smells worse that I have committed to dunking the ends of my hair into after every wash.
2. I still have the jitters from a coffee I drank yesterday.
And it wasn't even a good coffee.
3. Our weekend revolved around smells: my breath and Oliver's butt.
That's a story that doesn't need telling, there is no happy ending.
4. Yes there is, the foul odors have been eliminated. The End.
But just so you aren't picturing strange things happening at my house, let me assure you my breath and Oliver's butt are in no way connected. I just happened to be emitting a "hickory" scent (as Corey described it) from my mouth while Oliver had a few glandular issues.
Butt glands. He had butt gland overflow.
5. The coffee also made me dizzy and nauseous and hungry.
6. I am still dizzy and nauseous and hungry.
7. I am only working two days this week.
My brain has started vacation early.