Why I like being married

by Stacie

When you're married you don't have to be afraid of things.  Like the dark.  Except for when your dear sweet husband hides behind a door when you get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and then jumps out at you and scares out that little bit of pee you knew was in there but just didn't want to come out yet.

When you're married you always have someone to listen to you complain about your job, your friends, your hair, that little bit of fat accumulating under your arms.  You can also share your hopes, dreams, and aspirations that he not leave the windows open anymore.  It's cold out.

When you're married you can look forward to those nice surprises that brighten your day.  A piece of your favorite dessert.  Maybe a love note in your lunch bag.  Or the ever romantic fart in your face while being pinned to the ground.

When you're married you are introduced to new food.  Like gravy and cheese over fries, baked beans with hot dogs over cottage cheese, or my favorite, fries with baked beans, meat sauce, macaroni salad and a corn muffin all mixed together.  Sometimes your husband will serve you while you're relaxing on the couch reading a National Geographic on California's redwood forests, that's another nice surprise.

There are many more reasons why being married is rewarding, fulfilling and special, but I'll leave you with my favorite:

When you're married there is someone else who can take the dog out when it's 30 degrees outside.

The End.