An open letter to all of you who do not flush your dookies in public bathrooms

(Corey, I know this is uncomfortable and inappropriate, but the truth must be told.)

First let me say, kudos to you who have the courage to make a number two in a public bathroom with others standing, or sitting, around listening to your business.  Those of us who can barely make a number one without intense coaxing are impressed and even jealous of your complete control over your innards.

However, just because you are among the respected few, that does not give you the authority to literally shove your accomplishments in our faces.  Specifically, our noses.  It's just mean.  But also very gross.  You see, after enough time passes, the doodie chunks break down; there is just something about fuzzy turds that makes me want to throw up.  And I think poop jokes are hilarious, so you can imagine what is going on in the gag sector of more proper individuals.

So please consider me and the others who use the facilities after you.  Flush those kids you just dropped off at the pool.  Because they belong with the other stinky poo-kids.

Thank you.