Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Survey: What would you do?

I'm going to give you a purely hypothetical scenario and I would like to know what you would do, hypothetically.

It's 11:50 New Year's Eve and you wake up on the couch (after falling asleep to the Big Bang Theory marathon, hypothetically) to your dog staring intently at something.  A something that appears to be swooping through your house.

You follow your dog's gaze to what could be a bat.

Then you confirm it is a bat as it flies at your head.

Now, let's say you live less than a block away from a park in a house that gives you a perfectly unobstructed front row view of the fireworks that are set off for two different occasions: July 4th and New Year's Eve.  A feature of your living arrangement you brag about to your friends endlessly, hypothetically.

But in this scenario you find that because you're less than a block away from a park, when those rockets explode and you're already terrified of contracting rabies you find yourself unable to control the urge to scream, pee or sweat profusely.  Hypothetically.

Now, let's say you have a rather large dog who is terrified of fireworks.  A dog who uses the tactic, "If I bark loud enough they will go away," further scaring the bat and causing it to swoop even more erratically in the region near your head.

So as you lay there, in between your couch and ottoman, on top of your shaking Golden Retriever (hypothetically) you ask yourself what in the H-E-double hockey sticks you should do.

Well friends, what would you do?

5 comments:

Debbie said...

Is there a hypothetical husband in this hypothetical story? If so, I would be laying in the same position but I would be screaming my husband's name...after all this IS what they were made to handle...not us! Love Mom.

Who Does That said...

My hypothetical answer: Either hide in the bedroom with the door closed and wait for hypothetical husband to deal with it.

Or. Because I don't have a hypothetical husband, or a real one, take care of business. Like a boss. And then relentlessy brag about my manly, bat-hunting prowess to all of my hypothetical friends.

E said...

I would probably open doors and hide out in a room with the dog, waiting for the bat to see itself out of the apartment.

april said...

I don't know that a bat would scare me, but if it did I would hide in the bathroom with the dog. Hypothetically.

Kathryn said...

Hide in another room with the dog, and pray that bats are really nocturnal.