1. Funny Google keyword search alert: smiley chicken poo.
2. I am putting my foot down. No more coffee for me. I finished off a 16-ouncer yesterday and I said things like, "whas up wit dat?" and my left eyeball almost popped out of my head.
I exaggerate, but I do think I called a congressman's aide a liar.
3. I have bad caffeine trips.
4. But at least I didn't hang up on a potential voter.
5. In my defense, if you plan to accuse me of calling you a "crack whore" I'm probably going to hang up on you too.
6. Guilty pleasure: real life crime solving shows.
7. Guiltier pleasure: a marathon of real life crime solving shows.
It's almost like saying my favorite movie is Silence of the Lambs.
8. My youngest sister swears my other sister and I told her she was supposed to die when she was born. I tell her she's completely delusional and that all we said was that she was the mailman's daughter.
9. Our mailman was a woman.
10. Today I'm allowing myself to place blame in all situations on solar flares.
"Why did you tell the Senator's constituent to sit on a tack??"
"The solar flares made me do it."
"Stacie...you didn't say any of your lines!!"
"Solar flares. Not my fault."
"Beetle, why did you hang up on me??"
"Dang solar flares screwed up all the waves and stuff."