Dilemma of my lifetime: do I get bangs, or don't I.
And I was pronouncing "dilemma" as "die-lemma" all dramatic-like.
It's what I do.
And bangs are a big deal, people.
It's short hairs on your face. Short hairs that take forever to grow back if you realize they won't not frizz at the least appropriate time.
Not that there's ever a good time to frizz.
But it's also short hairs that take up that huge span of forehead I've grown.
This is my attempt to hide it with a side-bang, also an early experiment in whether or not I could stand having hair in my face at all times.
I've spent 85% of my life with my hair in a ponytail; hair away from my face is like a security blanket.
(And of the remaining: 10% was spent sleeping in curlers for pictures because my mom enjoyed torturing her children with poofy hair, and 5% of the time my hair is "done" and down, but that only lasts 15 minutes.)
But could I stand it if I had no choice but to stand it?
If you are the one male reader who actually made it through to this point let me take you through the Reader's Digest version of what exactly I'm talking about here. See, a regular bang, the kind I want goes straight across my forehead with slightly longer hairs at the sides. There are slightly different lengths, of course, depending on the look you're going for; shaggy dog vs. that style where you cut your bangs really short and then dye your whole head pink.
I'm somewhere in the middle.
But the side bang is a total cop-out. It's like the cheater bang. If you have a sloppy morning and you can't take the time to pull out every shorter strand of hair from your longer strands of hair to straighten it and make sure it lays at that perfect angle you tuck it in with the other hairs and a bobby pin and throw that shizz up. In a ponytail.
So I'll repeat my question: if I'm walking around all proud of myself for tolerating a side bang for, like, half an hour at the most, will I be able to stand a bang that can't go anywhere else because I have no other choice?!
Thoughts? Opinions? Hopes, dreams, and aspirations?!
Thank you for your time.