Just because I'm laying out on the beach in the morning sun doesn't mean I don't have things I need to get off my chest:
1. When I was 13 I laughed so hard I peed my pants.
2. I once sat 8 feet from where David Cassidy was eating dinner.
3. I love Walker, Texas Ranger.
4. And Matlock.
5. I also have an unnatural obsession with office supplies.
6. For ugly tie day in jr. high, Alyssa and I concocted the most disgusting mess of a tie. To this day, the smell of minty egg still haunts me.
7. My Purdue Boilermakers are playing Corey's cousin's alma mater, the Siena Saints tonight in the first round of the NCAA tournament. I not-so-secretly hope those Saints get their butts handed to them in nicely wrapped pink gift bags that say "Thanks for stopping by."
8. I cannot drink a whole beer without getting woozy.
9. I clip coupons every week but I never ever use them.
10. Last week I received, via cell phone, a recorded fart and it was one of the funniest things I've ever heard. I am still laughing.