Thursday, September 30, 2010

A Brief Death Scare

First let me say Corey and I are alive.  In fact, that's one of the first things he said this morning.

"Hey...we're alive!"

...

We have three smoke detectors in our loft apartment.  Two in areas of normal ceiling height that can be reached by standing on a chair, and the other just about 18' from the ground that can be reached by climbing from the bed to my jewelry stand and reaching up with a 5' pole.

Which one do you think went off yesterday?

I called Corey on my way home:

"BEEP, BEEP, BEEEEEEP......BEEP, BEEP, BEEEEEP...I gotta go...BEEEEEP...."

I came home to find no smoke, no smells, and no alarm.  Corey had scaled our bedroom furniture and whacked the thing with a pole, shutting off the alarm.  But what could have triggered it in the first place??

Carbon Monoxide.  Had to be it.

Corey called our landlord.  He didn't answer.

So then he called his mom.  She didn't think there was anything to worry about, but we didn't get the definitive answer we were looking for, so we opened all the windows and forgot about it.

In the meantime Corey decided to take a leftover antibiotic from a sinus infection to treat an in-grown hair in his nose (a story for another time, folks) and lay down to watch the Yankee game.  A short time later he comes out of the bedroom to report wooziness.

A sure sign of CO poisoning.

But also possibly a sign of taking random medications for an in-grown hair.

So I call my dad.  He's not a medical doctor but he does talk to them occasionally.

Again, no definitive answer.

"Try pushing the button again and see if it chirps."

"Do you know how hard it was to press it in the first place?!"

We were desperate to stay alive so Corey, again, scales our bedroom furniture, pole in hand, to test the alarm.

He presses the button.  It doesn't chirp.

He presses it again.  No chirp, no red light.

Great.  So one of two things occurred: 1) the alarm sounded to let us know it was dying, or 2) the alarm sounded to let us know it was dying from Carbon Monoxide poisoning.

We convinced ourselves the alarm just outside our bedroom would have alerted us and the dizziness and headache were purely psychosomatic, then went to sleep.  Not really sure if we would wake up in the morning, but too tired to blow up the air mattress in a less "affected" room, we said our good-nights.

Needless to say, because I am obviously writing this after the fact and because I told you at the beginning, we made it.  There was no Carbon Monoxide in our apartment.  Just one dead smoke alarm.

And they all lived happily ever after.

The End.