Geography 101: New York

Dearest Blog Friends,

I feel compelled to lead a brief lesson in New York State geography titled, "New York is Actually an Entire State You Buncha Dodos."  I may or may not shorten the title upon publication.

Publication, where, you ask?

In the Journal of Historical...Scientific....Classifi....well it's not important at this juncture.

I do realize half of you loyal followers fall into the category of "parents" and "parents-in-law" and are practically my neighbors.  And as we all already live in New York, the following post does not apply to you.  Feel free to browse my etsy store (shameless plug), the button is there on your right...no, your other right...

The necessity of this post comes from a conversation I had with a gentleman in Missouri.  While discussing work matters, a misconception surfaced (I'll admit it was one I held myself before I moved here from the midwest) that this state is just one big, crowded mess.

The Reader's Digest version of the conversation:

"Hey guy in Missouri, I have this constituent and I need help with (this and that and this and the other thing)"

"Well, I'd love to be able to help but we just don't have the same technology as you do in big cities."

"Ok, but we're not in The city."

...

"I just would like to find out if there are any other options for our constituent."

"We could do (this, that, blah, blah) but we just don't have the money like you do in the big cities."

"Um, we do not live in a big city."

"Out here in Missouri we are just a buncha very rural towns and villages..."

"Ok....SO ARE WE."

So begins the lesson: New York State is not just one big New York City.

Here is New York State color coded by population.

We have a few big cities.  Maybe you've heard of one of them.

Buffalo?  It's pretty cool.

But now let's take a look-see at the lesser known areas.

The green areas are rural.  The really green areas are pretty-darn-rural.

See that giant circle at the top?  That's called the Adirondack Park.  Don't get much more rural than that, folks.  Six million-bagillion acres, and people live there.  No exaggeration, except for the bagillion part.  That's not even a real number. 

My neighbor to the left, Hamilton County, is home to 5,000 people....total.  You're more likely to see a seven-toed black bear than a person.  And my neighbor to the right is just one big cow patty: farms, farms, and a few more farms.

Quite the difference from the flaming red island, NYC.

Probably not what you expected.

It wasn't what I expected.  I thought there would be suburbs as far as the eye could see.  Shopping malls on every corner.  And at least one Macy's per household.  But this is just not the case.  I have to drive about an hour to get my Jessica Simpson purple 5" wedges.  Mr. Missouri does not know my plight.

sigh

So, in conclusion: Yes, New York is home to the biggest city we got, but that ain't the whole package.  We can be just as rural as Missouri with not even the slightest hint of greasy street grime or traffic lights.  Parts of New York State have more cows per mile than people, more trees per mile than cows and more black flies per mile than trees.

(That last one is actually not a good thing.)

I'm not sayin' all this to get you packed up and moved out.  No, your state is probably just fine. 

Consider this....continuing education.

Class dismissed.

...

Up next: What the skin on your hands starts to look like when the temps are consistently in the negatives.