Friday Confessions

1.  Oliver has been in the figurative dog house.  He has developed a pre-teen, defiant attitude despite being the equivalent of a 46 year old man.  When I call him he walks the other way.  Oh, and there's the issue of him chasing after joggers and scaring them into on-coming traffic I'm a little concerned about.

2.  I frequent several grocery stores.  In the one near my parents' house there is a darling little cashier who hits on me by asking every single time if he's seen me before.  My response, "Yeah.  Here."  Every.  Single.  Time.

3.  The English language frustrates me: "i" before "e" except after "c"?  Why??  Aren't "receive" and "retrieve" practically the same word??  And don't even get me started on "weird".

4.  Sometimes I randomly start singing Tina Turner or Mariah Carey songs.

5.  But I definitely don't whistle the tunes.  When you whistle your mouth takes the same shape as draggin' on a cigarette and I prefer not to have ciggy wrinkles, causing people to think I've been smoking all these years when really I just like to whistle.

No offense to smokers.  I'm just not a fan of smoking.  Or wrinkles.

6.  I have no idea what WASP stands for.  It's probably something offensive, and I should have looked it up before I wrote this, but I didn't.  I've seen it in a buncha places and I've always just pretended I knew what it meant.

7.  I believe it is my civic duty to flash on-coming traffic if they are going to pass a police car.

8.  It is not safe to share my cereal.  I tend to be very hand-on when selecting each shredded wheat biscuit, which means I've handled just about every single one in that box.  Eat at your own risk.

But the chances of you being at my house in the morning are slim so just never mind.

9.  My sister calls my dog's weenie "the deceiver".  If you've ever had a male dog you know occasionally they get a little excited and a little red rocket makes an appearance.  On such occasion my sister told me his "deceiver" was out and we all got a little grossed out.  Then we realized what she said.  "What?  He's fixed so he's deceiving all the female dogs."

10.  I filled out a bracket for this year's basketball tournament like I have since I've been with Corey.  I've never come close to winning since that first year when I could have placed third but didn't because Mr. Know-It-All-About-Sports didn't like one of my selections and suggested I change it.  That move cost me several years of gloating and $30.

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Have a happy, sunny Friday!