Friday, April 30, 2010

Friday Confessions

1. I would like to find a job that included nap time as a company policy.

2. My Friday nights are spent baking. Because I am a 75 year old grandmother.

3. I really do think those Reebok butt shapers will make me look like the girls in the commercials. "Who wears short shorts?" Well if I had those shoes I could, but I wouldn't because I like to set a good example for the younger wanna-be hootchies.

4. My friend had a baby last Thursday. She has since uttered the words "nipple confusion" and I am now concerned for all future conversations.

5. I really did walk around NYC on Sunday with my fly down. Again.

6. A driver's ed car went by my office on Tuesday. It was on a flat bed with a smashed front end. Oh how I laughed at the poor flunky's expense.

7. My parents taught me a harsh, humiliating lesson in stealing when I was three.  I have never even considered taking so much as a dust bunny from any store, home, or baseball diamond since then.

8. I am in a hippie transformation process.  I now only eat free-range chicken, grass fed beef and cage free eggs.  I am also considering buying a Subaru and not wearing deodorant.

9. Tomorrow is the Kentucky Derby, one of Corey's favorite days.  I will be walking the dog and eating nachos because I bring bad luck to horse racing and girl talk to boy time.

10. I ate dessert before dinner last night.  And then again after dinner.  Because I'm an adult.

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