Paint Overboard

I love the paint program on my computer in the same way I love grown-up cartoons...childlike appearance but adult content.

I recently went through old paint files on my computer and had myself a brief chuckle.  I'll share them, but I promise you will think I am the weirdest person you almost know.

But first: I spend a great deal of time chatting via email with my friend Jill.  Oftentimes, it is necessary to illustrate a conversation.  The following pictures are part of those conversations:

I, uh, don't remember this conversation, but the long standing joke is that Jill looks like Suzanne Somers (you can see the resemblance in the lips, I think I captured them perfectly)...

...and I look like Gina Davis.  See, we both have mannish jaw lines.  And angry eyebrows, apparently.

I was day dreaming about the Reese's candy bar I stashed in my drawer.  Notice the detail in the eyelashes, and eyebrows look less angry here.  It's hard to be angry when you're thinking of chocolate.

My after work plans.  Can you guess what they are?  Can you guess why I gave myself a beak, a brick in my pants, and a receding hairline?

This was not actually part of a conversation.  It was my response to one of my wedding guest's comments about how we did not include a picture with our thank you cards like "everyone" else.  See how appreciative Corey and I look in this rendering?  No, I don't either...

And this is why I'm weird.  Ok, now we're back to conversations with Jill.  We were trying to solve the mystery of the pee splatters in her office bathroom.  The case: she would often find said random splatters on the toilet seats in the ladies room (duh).  The culprit: unknown.  My theory as illustrated above: old lady hover (note the granny socks pulled up to the knees).  She does not want to sit on the seat, nor does she have the leg strength to hover within inches of it, so she hovers 6+ inches above, causing the pee to fall from a greater distance allowing it to gain speed and create a bigger splash.  Although convincing, Jill went with a different theory.

I have a few more that involve me trying out different hair styles, but I'm saving those for a rainy day...and a brain fart.  ("jeez, why does she always have to go there with the fart talk??")