PSA: Cookies Kill

Hey, so here's something you should not try at home:

Don't make a day out of eating nothing but cookies.

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Let's say you just happen to have a basket full of those chocolate crackle cookies laying around from a party you threw the previous night.  You know, the kind that are your favorites because they're made almost entirely out of chocolate.  As you wash the dishes the next morning and kick yourself for not use plastic forks it is not a good idea to shove a handful of crackles in your mouth between rinses.

And let's say you have a cookie exchange planned for that afternoon for which you need to make five dozen of your own chocolately fudgie cookies.  It will be detrimental to your health if you 1) eat as you bake, and 2) eat as you exchange.

At this point you would be up to a dozen and a half cookies consumed with, hypothetically, just a slaw dog in your belly as a buffer between rounds.

I'm not sure if this is common knowledge: a slaw dog is a hot dog with cole slaw on top of it.  New to me.  But delish, nonetheless.

Now let's say the stars have aligned in your favor and you just happen to have an open house dessert buffet scheduled for this exact same day.  A buffet that features 46 different dessert items arranged all around your host's house.  Should you decide to load your plate with cheesecakes, cookies and fruit bars in a very unorganized, unladylike fashion, by the end of the night, you will (again, hypothetically) find yourself in a coma, sweating sugar crystals and gurgling the words, "can't....eat....maybe just....one....more."

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Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I speak not from personal experience, only a fool would go an entire day eating nothing (except for the occasional slaw dog) but cookies.  But I come to you out of concern for your health and well-being in this season of cookie overload.  Make smart choices.  Eat celery.