Thursday, June 25, 2009

Wedding Nightmare #3

Oh. My. Gosh.

No more burritos before bed. No burritos or wedding related activities. These suckers are just getting way too weird and disturbing.

So, this time I'm getting married in a store/banquet hall/theater in the mall. (Corey doesn't make an entrance in this one) For some reason I'm just hangin' out on a bench watching people walk in. There are thousands of guests. At one point the best man runs off to get his wife out of the JCPenny. And all of my bridesmaids are under the age of 12.

The traumatic part comes when I go to put my dress on. First, it's a hideous satin, two-piece gown. Second, this is the first time I've tried it on since getting it back from the seamstress.

I put the whole thing on to find my seamstress added a neck pillow to the collar of my dress. (why do i have a collar, you ask? i will answer that question with a question: why am i getting married in a mall??) I'm talking about those foamy pillows you wear when you're trying to sleep on a plane, it was sewn into my dress.

Of course, I'm panicking at this point. I'm sobbing hysterically. Fortunately for dream Stacie, Aunt Cindy is there. (background on AC: she makes quilted vests with cross-stitched bunnies look gooooood) She tells me she'll just fold down the pillow. Then we notice my skirt is four sizes too big. Both in my dream and now I wonder, what exactly did I pay the seamstress to do?? This time my Aunt has no solution and my dream fades as I'm minutes from the ceremony, crying and shaking uncontrollably.

....a neck pillow??

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