You can stop scrolling now. You didn't miss Nightmare #1, it wasn't posted (it happened pre-blog). Brief synopsis of #1:
Ceremony was in the front area of my office, reception was in the 12 person maximum capacity "conference" room. People were arriving and I just was not ready. My hair was done, and my dress was on, but I still had centerpieces to assemble. And these people, they just SAT there, arms crossed, glaring at me as I frantically cut out and pasted together construction paper flowers. It was truly a stomach-in-throat moment.
On to Wedding Nightmare #2:
This time the ceremony was in my backyard. It was a gorgeous set up. We had pergolas with climbing ivy, a red velvet aisle runner and candles everywhere...for an afternoon wedding??
Anyway, guests were seated, I was dressed, everything seemed to be in order. That's when I realized...(extreme close up with scary violin screech) I forgot my veil!
I run up to the attic, which resembled the old, creaky attic in the 1995 movie Casper. (yes, Casper. gimme a break, i was in l-o-v-e with Devon Sawa.) I jump over an old dusty box and dig through bins of dusty clothes until I find the jewelry box holding my pearls (apparently, i'm no longer concerned about the veil at this point). As I'm fumbling with them the clasp FALLS OFF.
If there was theme music playing it would be a cross between the theme from Jaws and Mission Impossible. For some reason, the fate of this wedding depended on these pearls. But I digress.
I'm panicking. I take a gold twisty tie (like the kind you use to tie up your green beans or bread bag) and attach the clasp to the strand of pearls. That's when I wake up. There was no resolution!
Did I make it to the aisle on time?! Did my twisty tie contraption work?!? I have no idea!!
Now I am left to spend the day making lists...You know, to make sure I haven't forgotten everything?...Come on folks, you can't expect me to present the stories AND make the connections, too.