Sunday, July 5, 2009

76 days...

If you were wondering, soap does irritate eyes, and I am a walking bad luck charm. I happen to be a charter member of the Black Cat, Broken Mirror Society of Albany, Alpha Chapter.

I will illustrate just a few instances that I am using as my platform while I campaign for the Society Presidency:

I purchased a gently used car in the fall of 2007 after practically running a 1998 Ford Escort into the ground without incidence. That winter a four inch thick sheet of ice slides right off the roof of my house and into the side of my car. Repairs: $3,000.

The summer of 2008 I am driving down the highway and pull in behind a truck hauling a motorcycle on a trailer. We hit a slight bump in the road and the motorcycle's spare tire jimmies loose and bounces off the trailer into the road. Bounce one on pavement, bounce two square on the hood of my car, bounce three over my car into careening RVs. Damage: skid mark and dent.

Again with the car, I back into the trash can. Everyone has done it, but when I do it I knock loose my tail light so it hangs like an eyeball out of its socket. Repairs: $260.

Just recently, my sister and I had several errands to run, putting us in the car for a solid 45 minutes one way. Of course, it is natural for clothing that has been...sat on for awhile to shift in the direction where it will find...the most room. And it is natural to want to...adjust that clothing and put it in its proper position. I found myself in this situation in a crowded Walmart parking lot. So I follow the normal course of action, except I do it in full view of a truck load of pointing and hysterically laughing adults.

And now we come to Thursday's incident: the 'ol soap in the eye trick. I walk into the shower after swimming nine whole laps in the YMCA's pool to start up a nice lather when I drop the shampoo bottle right on its butt. The resulting force sends a glob (glob=1 tsp.) of shampoo directly into my left eyeball.

Now it's safe to assume an eyeball has the diameter of a quarter, so what are the stinkin' odds that glob would smack me like a bulls eye right in the iris? Good enough to land me in that cushy President's seat at our bi-monthly meetings.

Vote for Stacie!!

No comments: