Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Wedding Nightmare #5

Ahhhh, the panic. The dread. The embarrassment.

I completely understand, now, why brides are so neurotic on their wedding days: they are constantly humiliated in their dreams in the months prior. When it finally arrives they replay all of the skirt tucked into underwear, lipstick on forehead, missed hair appointment nightmares and it literally drives them c-r-a-z-y.

In my latest nocturnal soap opera I forgot my dress, forgot to pick out special music, forgot to give the band leader directions, and I forgot my shoes. I wore a green tank top under my dress and I was sweating a whole lot. Everyone could tell I was so unorganized and all I wanted to do was cry.

Ok subconscious, we need to have a heart-to-heart.

I appreciate what you're trying to do for me here. I really do. But I don't think sending me down the path of inevitable nervous breakdown is really going to help me remember to take my PJs off before putting my gown on or that I should shower first, dress second.

A for effort, but really I just end up curling into a ball and shaking. So, you can stop "helping" me now. Thanksomuch.

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