Tuesday, November 23, 2010

This is Where I Talk About Zombies

This is weird, I know, but I'm so hooked on AMC's The Walking Dead.

It is embarrassing as a post-teen to be hooked on a show about zombies.

It's embarrassing as a no-longer-super-nerd to be hooked on a show about zombies.

But I guess it could be worse.  I could have "I Heart Rob Pattinson" tattooed on my forearm.

Sheesh, vampires are sooooo childish.

Anywho, I am going to give you a wrap up of Sunday night's episode just so I can relive it...because I may be more of a nerd than I claim:

Here we are, following a pack of NZ's (non-zombies) that strayed from the main group hidden high on a hill just outside Atlanta to search for a lost member who was actually not-so-lost, just chained to a pipe on the top of a building.

I could go into detail on how he became chained to that particular building but that was two episodes ago and, frankly people, we just don't have the time.

So we see the stray four NZ's reach the top of the building only to find a pair of handcuffs dangling from the pipe.  Empty.  On the ground below: a severed hand.  AAAAHHHHH!!!

It wasn't that scary.  Just gross.

See, the guy is some ubber conservative, racist, mountain man who knows how to survive with a chopped off limb.  Later we see fixin's for stump cauterization.  Very clever Merle.  Oh, his name is Merle, by the way.

Now we see two girls from the main group whose names I forget because I'm bad with names.  They're fishing in the quarry, being all nostalgic about their their dad (which I think is dangerous when, you know, everyone has turned into zombies including, quite possibly, their parents) who taught them about knots and lures and stuff.  They get all sappy and you see how happy they are that, at least, they each other.  So sad that one of them dies at the end.


So next we see another guy.  I promise to have names down at some point, should I continue these recaps for my own benefit.  He's digging holes.  Lots and lots of holes.  But he has no idea why.  See, he had some kind of dream, and he needed to dig holes.

Best last line of a TV show: "I remember my dream now."

Corey thinks it's cheesy.  What does he know about drama, anyway?

So now we go back to the city where the stray pack is looking for Merle (why is it his name is the only one I can remember?) and a bag of guns left on the street.  Just as....Glen!  another name, so just as Glen is about to reach the guns, a pack of gang members show up, their own guns drawn and demand them.  A scuffle ensues, someone gets shot in the butt and Glen is taken in taken away in a funky Cadillac.  But, alas!  One of theirs is left behind!

Yikes!  The plot thickens!

The group goes after the gang and has to infiltrate their lair, which turns out to be an old folks home.  The gang leader: the old folks home janitor.  I swear, they made it seem super scary, but in the end they became friends.  Awwww.

This is where the plot twists: Merle is nowhere to be found.  The group heads back to the outskirts of the city where they parked the van they drove in on and now it is nowhere to be found.

It's Merle.  He took it.  And according to his brother who was part of the pack sent out to rescue him, he was heading back to camp with a whole heckuva lot of hate in him.

Oh great, I'm thinking as the camera heads back up to camp, where the others are sitting around a campfire, eating and telling stories.  Here I'm thinking this bad guy is going to come up and start all kinds of chaos, but no.

The girl from before gets up to use the facilities in the RV they managed to acquire.  You see another from the group resting in his tent (I won't get into his wife-beating tendencies that lead to a "you deserved it buddy" from me later on), and then you see a swarm of bloody, snotty, guts-hanging-out zombies who have found their camp and are....hungry.

One of them eats the wife-beater but no one notices.  Then the girl comes out of the RV, laughing about the lack of toilet paper and WHAM! she get's attacked (insert gory details here) and she dies.

Who was expecting that?  No one.  That's why it's called a twist.

So she get's eaten, then another guy gets eaten, and another, while everyone else is trying to beat the zombies or shoot them, or hide from them.  It's chaos.  Blood and guts kind of chaos, but made-for-TV kind of blood and guts.

Now, the whole camp wasn't eaten.  Just half of them.  Eventually the group that left to find Merle comes back and helps beat down the zombies.  Everyone is panicked and crying.  They take an inventory of who is left.

That's when you hear the line:  "I remember my dream now."

But, where the heck is Merle?

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