They just take right over your body, don't they?
Like your head is in a vice, your eyeballs in a juicer, and your stomach on one of those upside-down roller coaster rides you begged your friends not to make you go on but you do anyway because peer pressure is a jerk and you end up expelling the cotton candy, chili dog, and tater tots you swore you could not live without but now wish you had.
I have one of those headaches.
It's keeping me from telling you something really funny about Saturday. No, really, it was hilarious. I mean, how many times does an adult pee their pants? Like literally pee their pants?
But all three of you will have to wait until I can open my eyes again without the fear of vomit coming out.
Out of my mouth, not my eyes. I guess I should have made that clear.
Until we meet again...