Friday Confessions

Sorry I'm late.  I've been enjoying my second breakfast for the day in celebration of a 90th birthday.  (Not mine.)  Oh, I love breakfast...

1.  I am afraid of crows.  But since I can't tell the difference between crows and ravens (which I love) I assume all black birds I come across while walking are smart, friendly ravens, and all black birds I come across while driving my killing machine (Hyundai Tucson) are dirty, flesh-eating crows.

2.  For years I sang the song Potato Bug, not realizing the words were actually Jitterbug.

3.  I wear goggles when I chop onions.

I also look stupid when I chop onions.

4.  In college I was on the ballroom dance team.  I had the shoes, the dance team jacket and bag, and a terrible partner who stepped on my feet with his Timberlands and constantly smelled of curry.

5.  I have never had a cavity.  I ingest 40 pounds of sugar yearly.  My teeth are made of iron.

6.  I would like to be a roller derby girl.  They all get special, raunchy names like Busty B*!@#, or Blond Bombshell.  My derby name will be Giggles McGoobin.  Cute, right?!

7.  I brought in three very pretty flowers from the bushes outside our apartment.  I also brought in a giant brown recluse.

8.  I call every spider a brown recluse.  Just to be safe.

9.  I am in charge of invitations for my boss's golf tournament.  Each of my co-workers asked me more than once if the phone number is listed correctly.  Jeez, guys.  So what if the last invitation I did gave 300 people the wrong RSVP phone number!

10.  My dog is the cutest dog in the world.

He also matches our floors.

Off to digest breakfast...