David vs. Goliath: A Modern Day Fight For Ultimate Control

There was a war in my house last night.  A full on, me against you, I will fight you to the death, war.

Over the thermostat.

And our positions in this conflict were not what you would have thought.

(Now for some reason, I picture this in my head as Israelites vs. Philistines.  Something to do with today being the day after a church day and the influence of the gladiator sandal movement of the summer.  So for the sake of keeping things straight we'll call my side....oh, let's go with Israelites and the Philistines represents Corey's side.)

Philistines:  The temperature should be set to 70 degrees at night while we are sleeping.

• everyone in the world does this
• anything less than 70 is too cold
• because I said so

Israelites:  The temperature should be set at least to 64 degrees at night while we are sleeping.

• this saves us money on our electric bill
• we have fleece sheets
• I wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat
• at this point I am down to my skivvies and can take off no more in my pursuit to sleep peacefully without my hair pelted to my forehead

Now, if you are at all familiar with your Bible stories, you know who comes out the victor.

Me. 

I mean the Israelites.  However my victory last night had absolutely nothing to do with faith in God to be victorious over my temperature oppressor and more to do with the stubborn will of a donkey, or jackass as some would say.

(Mom, that's what they are called.)

By settling myself in on the couch all night I had full access to the temperature-changer.  I also knew when a certain someone I am married to tried to change the changer.  Which would be my cue to change it back.  And at 4:41am, after going three rounds of change-it-change-it-back and realizing I was shivering under my light blanket, I crowned myself victorious.

I crawled in bed and slept the peaceful sleep of a winner.

For an hour and a half.

This is where Corey and I differ from our ancient counterparts: (because David and Goliath really did fight over the temperature they were going to set in the temple at Jerusalem.  Eye roll to myself.) I did not chop off Corey's head.  There was actually very little violence, which makes for an anti-climactic end to my story.

Sorry.

Cage fight ending next time.